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41 Things You Can't Prove Aren't Caused By Vaccines

How much do we REALLY know about vaccines anyway?

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You can't prove vaccines don't cause:

1. The ability to talk to dogs

2. The ability to talk to cats

3. The ability to shoot lasers from your eyes

4. The ability to shoot lasers from your fingers

5. The ability to stop lasers from shooting out of someone else's eyes or fingers

6. The ability to melt into a puddle like Alex Mack

7. The ability to turn puddles into Alex Mack

8. Extreme gluten tolerance

9. Banana fingers

10. Pregnancy

11. Alien pregnancy

12. Measles

13. The power of flight

14. Growing a durable turtle shell

15. Luxurious, flowing hair

16. Really strong bones and teeth

17. A healthy respect for the creatures of the sea

18. Suddenly being really good at basketball

19. Suddenly being really bad at basketball

20. Having a series of basketball-themed nightmares

21. The ability to turn stuffed animals into sentient beings

22. Mumps

23. Sporadic, uncontrollable time travel

24. Sporadic, uncontrollable break dancing

25. The creation of a clone with all your child's memories that you aren't able to distinguish from your child

26. The ability to make that noise that whales make

27. Trombone fingers

28. Hepatitis

29. Becoming a hologram

30. Becoming a witch

31. Becoming a witch hologram

32. Becoming a ball of pure energy and light

33. Rubella

34. Having little dinner mints come out your nose

35. Snake fingers

36. Farts replaced by the song "Breakfast at Tiffany's"

37. Having the voice of an angel

38. Having the voice of a demon

39. Diptheria

40. Throwing up cotton candy

41. The ability to see dead people