Skip To Content
    Updated on Jun 4, 2019. Posted on Apr 21, 2018

    I Tried To Make Fancy Instagram Breakfasts For A Week

    How do you Instagram such attractive breakfasts?

    I'm Joanna and I'm bad at breakfast.

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    Most days I wake up late and don't even eat breakfast. I'm haunted by a Kellogg's commercial from my childhood that says "You can't be your best without a good breakfast." So yeah, by that standard I'm not my best. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

    In my mad dash to work in the morning, I'll often buy something like this. (Also known as lighting money on fire.)

    And if I don't buy breakfast, I'll eat whatever random food I can find and end up with a breakfast like this:

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    I see a lot of really beautiful breakfasts on Instagram and I want to be the kind of person who makes them. But I often lack time, motivation, resources, sleep, ingredients, and probably other stuff you need to nourish and care for yourself. But maybe I can change.

    The Plan:

    Make an appetizing, healthy (ish), easy breakfast every single morning for a week.

    I want to see if making the aesthetically pleasing breakfasts of my dreams is really possible for an ordinary person who is always running late.

    Day One: Acaí Bowl

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    I recently learned you can buy frozen puréed acaí berries at the grocery store. (I got mine at Whole Foods.) And now I feel like a real dummy for all the acaí bowls I was wasting money buying. And my homemade version tasted even BETTER than the one I buy from the snobby juice store.

    Ingredients:

    Frozen acaí packet

    Banana

    Granola

    Cacao nibs

    Almond butter

    Directions

    Blend one frozen acaí package with half a banana. (You can also add almond milk to make it soupier but I didn't.) Then top with granola, sliced banana, almond butter, and cacao nibs.

    Yes, nibs. I'm not just gonna gloss over the nibs. They feel like chocolate in your mouth but taste bitter, which sounds horrible, but it's actually kind of fun. The only problem is you can't say "cacao nib" out loud to another human being, ever, without sacrificing your reputation as a chill person.

    Day Two: Miso Toast With Eggs

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    This is a breakfast I tried to recreate from a version I had at a fancy cafe. You can buy miso from the grocery store in a little plastic tub. You can mix it with hot water to make miso soup or you can do what I did and spread it directly on toast for a savory toast experience.

    I KNOW that my soft boiled eggs look like they came out of the trash. I was in a hurry and didn't give them the care they deserve in preparation. I recommend making them the night before. With pre-made eggs, this is a really fast breakfast.

    Ingredients:

    Soft boiled eggs

    Miso

    Toast

    Salad greens

    Optional olive oil or salad dressing

    Directions

    Spread miso on toast. Add soft boiled eggs and side salad.

    Day Three: Almond Coconut Smoothie

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    It's embarrassing that I've spent actual money buying a version of this smoothie from a juice shop. I feel especially stupid because this was incredibly easy to make at home and tasted just as good as the expensive version.

    The thing that stops me from making smoothies at home is the whole "cleaning out the blender" thing. I've got my smoothie and the blender says, "Not so fast, Dumb-Dumb. Don't forget about me, the blender. You must wash me." And then I start crying because the blender is being a real dick.

    Ingredients:

    Almond butter

    Almond milk

    Coconut milk

    Cacao nibs

    Banana

    Directions

    Blend in a blender. Clean the blender while crying.

    Day Four: Lime Matcha Chia Pudding

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    I'll be honest. This chia seed pudding was kind of a disaster. I've always been drawn to the concept of chia "pudding" because real pudding is delicious. I was pretty delusional to think that a seed-based pudding would be anything like a real pudding. I was also stubborn. I made this recipe up and I refused to add a thickening agent like yogurt or avocado because I expect these weird seeds to become pudding on their own. They can't. The best they can do is soup. So this was a chia soup, but the flavor was fun.

    Ingredients:

    Chia seeds

    Lime juice

    Matcha powder

    Coconut milk

    Honey

    Toppings: Blueberries, almonds, cacao nibs

    Directions

    Mix chia seeds, coconut milk, matcha powder, and honey. Refrigerate overnight. Add toppings. This would probably taste good if you added plain greek yogurt.

    If you're wondering what amount of each ingredient to use, that's too bad. I didn't measure. Or did I? I actually don't remember. And here is where you can see why I struggle so much with making breakfast.

    Day Five: Avocado Toast

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    I believe that avocados deserve all the hype they get. This breakfast was fast, easy, and filling. The biggest challenge is just having a ripe avocado, which can be difficult.

    Ingredients:

    Toast

    Avocado

    The juice of half a lemon

    Salt and pepper to taste

    Red pepper flakes

    Directions

    Mash up one avocado with lemon juice, salt, and pepper. Spread on toast and add red pepper flakes.

    I know this breakfast has come to represent how Millennials are a doomed generation, which is sad because it's very practical and easy. And of all the breakfasts I tried this week, it's the only one I continue to make.

    Day Six: Chocolate Overnight Oats

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    Making breakfast the night before is the ultimate key to breakfast success. It's right there waiting for you when you wake up. The problem is–oatmeal kind of sucks. I've tried my entire life to like it, but no matter what gunk you stick on top, it's just not very food-like or good. This experiment made me realize that oatmeal is just not for me and I have to give up that dream.

    If you do like oatmeal, this recipe was very filling.

    Ingredients:

    Oatmeal

    Almond milk

    Chocolate almond butter

    Optional toppings: Blueberries, almonds, cacao nibs, bee pollen

    Directions

    Mix oatmeal, almond milk, and almond butter. Refrigerate overnight. Add toppings before eating.

    Day Seven: Banana Tacos

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    This is a super lazy person's crepe. People who like crepes will probably be mad at me for saying that. In fact, I'm mad at myself for saying that. This is not a crepe. But this was the fastest breakfast of all. I used chocolate almond butter to try to be a little healthy, but if this was made with Nutella, it would be amazing.

    Ingredients:

    Corn tortillas

    Chocolate almond butter

    Sliced banana

    Heat the tortillas in a skillet, add almond butter and bananas to taste.

    The end of a breakfast journey. What did I learn? So much.

    Joanna Borns / BuzzFeed

    Forcing myself to make a fancy-ish breakfast every morning taught me that with the right spirit, positive attitude, and a few bananas–I'm just kidding. I did not learn anything. Breakfast is a demon that will terrorize me for the rest of my life. The truth is, breakfast requires time. And I love sleeping. And sleep wins every single time.

    I know that if I see a hot, sexy breakfast on Instagram, someone probably spent three hours delicately arranging pumpkin seeds until it looked perfect. They laugh and laugh with glee, popping a mouthful of cacao nibs, as thousands of likes roll in on their photo of drizzled almond butter. That entire time I was probably asleep.

    BuzzFeed Daily

    Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

    Newsletter signup form