Are You The Worst?

Have you left a voicemail today?

  1. Check all that apply to you.
    1. 1 I have stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to look at my phone.
    2. 2 I have stopped on public stairs to look at my phone.
    3. 3 I have heated up pungent food in an office microwave.
    4. 4 I have told someone about the dream I had last night.
    5. 5 I have sent a friend a link to a funny video longer than 2 minutes.
    6. 6 I have sent a friend a link to a Ted Talk.
    7. 7 I have seen someone with gum and asked if I could have some.
    8. 8 I can and will make various sound effects with my gum.
    9. 9 I correct other people’s grammar.
    10. 10 I have corrected someone’s spelling on Twitter.
    11. 11 I earned special smart points for doing that.
    12. 12 I squeal out when I’m excited.
    13. 13 I have given myself a cool nickname.
    14. 14 I have done a magic trick at a bar that no one requested.
    15. 15 I have casually taken my ukulele to a bar.
    16. 16 At parties, I usually end up playing guitar for everyone.
    17. 17 When there are cupcakes, I’m usually the one to cut them into smaller, more sharable segments.
    18. 18 I look awesome in a fedora.
    19. 19 I stand wherever I want on an escalator.
    20. 20 I like to randomly burst into song while in public—my heart is just that full of music.
    21. 21 I celebrate my entire birthday week.
    22. 22 I celebrate my entire birthday month.
    23. 23 I have complained to a server about the temperature in a restaurant.
    24. 24 I have gone into a restaurant right before they close because they’re still technically open.
    25. 25 I leave voicemails.
    26. 26 I wear a really solid amount of cologne.
    27. 27 I leave really creative negative comments on YouTube.
    28. 28 I feel like my bag deserves its own seat on public transportation.
    29. 29 I call my significant other “babe” in front of others.
    30. 30 I have used an app on my phone to win an argument.
    31. 31 I cut in line to beat the system.
    32. 32 I like to tell people fun facts.
    33. 33 I like explaining things to people.
    34. 34 I comment on what my coworkers are eating for lunch.
    35. 35 When people don’t want to go out for drinks I pour on my patented guilt.
    36. 36 When I wait in line, I like to get as close as possible to the person in front of me.
    37. 37 I have listened to music at work or on public transit without headphones.
    38. 38 I have leaned on a train pole.
    39. 39 I have referred to champagne as “champers.”
    40. 40 I have used the phrase “Music just sounds better on vinyl.”
    41. 41 I have used the term “ping me.”
    42. 42 I have used the term “Sunday funday”
    43. 43 In the year 2014 I have used the term “amazeballs.”
    44. 44 I often sing “Shots! shots! shots! shots! shots!”
    45. 45 I have used the hashtag #blessed.
    46. 46 I have used the hashtag #nofilter
    47. 47 I have used the hashtag #datenight
    48. 48 I ask people “What kind of music are you into?”
    49. 49 I ask people “Read any good books lately?”
    50. 50 People love my funny stories.

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