I have stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to look at my phone.I have stopped on public stairs to look at my phone.I have heated up pungent food in an office microwave.I have told someone about the dream I had last night.I have sent a friend a link to a funny video longer than 2 minutes.I have sent a friend a link to a Ted Talk.I have seen someone with gum and asked if I could have some.I can and will make various sound effects with my gum.I correct other people's grammar.I have corrected someone's spelling on Twitter.I earned special smart points for doing that.I squeal out when I'm excited.I have given myself a cool nickname.I have done a magic trick at a bar that no one requested.I have casually taken my ukulele to a bar.At parties, I usually end up playing guitar for everyone.When there are cupcakes, I'm usually the one to cut them into smaller, more sharable segments.I look awesome in a fedora.I stand wherever I want on an escalator.I like to randomly burst into song while in public--my heart is just that full of music.I celebrate my entire birthday week.I celebrate my entire birthday month.I have complained to a server about the temperature in a restaurant.I have gone into a restaurant right before they close because they're still technically open.I leave voicemails.I wear a really solid amount of cologne.I leave really creative negative comments on YouTube.I feel like my bag deserves its own seat on public transportation.I call my significant other "babe" in front of others.I have used an app on my phone to win an argument.I cut in line to beat the system.I like to tell people fun facts.I like explaining things to people.I comment on what my coworkers are eating for lunch.When people don't want to go out for drinks I pour on my patented guilt.When I wait in line, I like to get as close as possible to the person in front of me.I have listened to music at work or on public transit without headphones.I have leaned on a train pole.I have referred to champagne as "champers."I have used the phrase "Music just sounds better on vinyl."I have used the term "ping me."I have used the term "Sunday funday"In the year 2014 I have used the term "amazeballs."I often sing "Shots! shots! shots! shots! shots!"I have used the hashtag #blessed.I have used the hashtag #nofilterI have used the hashtag #datenightI ask people "What kind of music are you into?"I ask people "Read any good books lately?"People love my funny stories.
Are You The Worst?
You're not the worst. You're all right, buddy. You're all right. You might even be the best.
You're not the worst, but you're pushing it.
You're the worst. But on the bright side, you've made a lot of people stronger through the power of annoying them. They should probably just get over it, though.