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    An Ode To Ted Cruz's Eyebrows

    The real breakout Tea Party heroes.

    If you know Senator Ted Cruz...

    Joe Mitchell / Reuters

    You know these guys, the two busiest eyebrows on Capitol Hill.

    Charlie Neibergall / AP

    His eyebrows are full of secrets.

    Even when Congress accomplishes nothing, these eyebrows are workin' overtime.

    David J. Phillip / AP

    These babies are known as the windshield wipers of the Tea Party Express.

    Andrew Burton / Getty Images

    And, yes, they're real.

    Kevin Lamarque / Reuters

    The government shut itself down after taking one look at DESE BROWS.

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    "Bitch, please." - Ted Cruz's eyebrows

    Charlie Neibergall / AP

    One man. Two Eyebrows.

    Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

    With the power of 100 eyebrows.

    Jason Reed / Reuters

    These eyebrows are Washington's ultimate power players.

    Charles Dharapak / AP

    During the government shutdown President Obama actually had a meeting with JUST Ted Cruz's eyebrows.

    Olivier Douliery/Abaca Press / MCT

    Did you know that Ted Cruz's eyebrows actually outrank Ted Cruz as co-chairs of the National Republican Senatorial Committee?

    J. Scott Applewhite / AP

    Did you know each of his eyebrows is individually licensed to carry?

    David J. Phillip / AP

    Did you know that Ted Cruz actually wanted to backdown on defunding Obamacare but his eyebrows talked him out of it?

    J. Scott Applewhite / AP

    Legend has it that during Senate votes, Ted Cruz doesn't say “aye” or “no,” he merely moves his eyebrows.

    Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images

    Ted Cruz's eyebrows could be behind you at any moment.


    The brows are always watching.

    Molly Riley / AP

    From any shadow could emerge... these eyebrows.

    Gary Cameron / Reuters

    There's no one better to introduce you at a conference than Ted Cruz's eyebrows.

    Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

    So sensitive.

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    So gentle.

    Pat Sullivan, File / AP

    One time in the Senate cafeteria, Ted Cruz ordered three bowls of chili. One for himself and one for each of his eyebrows.

    Charlie Neibergall / AP

    This Diet Coke is actually for Ted Cruz's eyebrows.

    Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

    These eyebrows have made it pretty clear they're planning a presidential run.

    Chip Somodevilla / Getty Images

    But WHAT IF Ted Cruz's eyebrows beat Ted Cruz in the GOP primary?



    No, little boy! Don't look directly into the eyebrows!

    Win McNamee / Getty Images

    Did you know that Ted Cruz's eyebrows were identified by entomologists as a rare species of Republican face caterpillar?

    Mark Wilson / Getty Images

    Ted Cruz's eyebrows come at your harder than a 3D movie. Yes, in IMAX.

    Drew Angerer / Getty Images

    When you close your eyes to fall asleep at night, you'll see these eyebrows.

    Jason Reed / Reuters

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