A Terrifying Guide To All-You-Can-Drink Brunch
Slam those mimosas. Slam them hard.
Select your brunch spot.
Say "I love boozy brunch!" Then slap yourself in the face for using the term "boozy brunch."
Start out with a coffee. JK! Order a bellini and chug it.
Slam the nearest mimosa you can see. If that means taking it off a server's tray or another table, do what you have to do.
Ask yourself, what's a thing I should drink large quantities of? Oh of course-- tomato juice!
Look at the home fries--are they still in focus? If so, slam another bellini.
Take a moment to tell your fellow brunchers how much you love them.
Take a moment to tell your server how much you love him.
Order a 128 ounce mimosa.
If your server says they don't have glasses that big, provide your own.
Might be time to slam some eggs Benedict. (Optional!)
Ignore your server when he says you need to leave.
Ask if you can order a pitcher of bellinis.
Ask if you can order a pitcher of grain alcohol.
Wake up on the floor of the restaurant.
Reach into your pocket and find the bacon you put there.
"Next time I'll try the buckwheat pancakes with raspberry compote and local farm fresh eggs" you say as you bask in how X-TREME that brunch was.
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