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1.A talking and singing LeapFrog Yum-2-3 Toaster for learning all about numbers, colors, and the most important meal of the day!
3.A super-spacious Evenflo Pivot Xplore all-terrain stroller wagon to push or pull one to two children on-road or off. Plus there's plenty of pockets and a basket for storage and the dual UPF 50+ canopies mean you can spend even more time outdoors.
5.A three-chord Loog Mini acoustic guitar so you can start teaching your little punk kid the entire Ramones catalog. Comes with flashcards with chord diagrams and full access to the Loog Guitar app. Hey! Ho! Let's go!
6.A "Silly Poopy's Hide & Seek" game (from the makers of What Do You Meme?) that actually involves hiding a fake plastic poo that talks and gives clues to its whereabouts.
7.A personalized superhero cape to get your kids into cosplay while encouraging them to create their own characters and stories. Plus, who doesn't lool great in a cape?
8.A Tok Tok voice-changer robot that repeats and even records whatever your kid might say in three different voices. As a bonus for parents, this might remind you of that He-Man character Man-E-Faces from Master of the Universe.
9.A 360-degree-rotating 3-in-1 LED globe, constellation map, and night light to illuminate your child about not only the world they live in but the stars in the heavens above. And if that gets way too scary (or deep) that night-light will sure come in handy too.
11.A "Learn-A-Lot Avocados" game, because one's love of guacamole's main ingredient should start at an early age. Plus this toy really helps with the old color identification and matching skills.
12.A built-to-last, no lead, no plastic, nontoxic, 14-piece magnetic wooden block set for kids to create all manner of creatures and objects that will serve as a soft introduction to all types of modern art.
14.A 100% nylon "Blue Number Circles" area rug for a little background learning to go with all that playing (which you know won't just be contained to the rug).
15.A three-wheeled micro scooter with an adjustable handlebar to grow with your toddler as they improve their balance and motor skills while whizzing by at seemingly breakneck speeds.
16.A construction vehicles playset that includes a gantry crane, a pickup truck, a tow truck, a logging truck, a magnetic crane vehicle, and forklift as well as a bunch of road signs, barricades, barriers, and safety cones. The only question is how much time can this keep the kid occupied for?
17.A pair of "Fly-noculars" (that's a plane + binoculars) so kids can explore the great outdoors up close (but, you know, from far away). And if it gets too hot out, the Fly-noculars turn into a personal fan. Bonus: personalize the plane with different sets of included stickers.
18.A ready-to-hang, canvas-wrap, piece of artwork featuring a Tiger that's more burnt orange than "burning bright." When poet William Blake once rhetorically asked, "What immortal hand or eye could frame thy fearful symmetry?" he certainly wasn't expecting the answer to be Novogratz, because they will indeed frame this for you as well.
20.A 15-piece "Future Veterinarian Puzzle" constructed from sturdy cardboard to "inspire and affirm children using a creative format" so they too can see themselves in their puzzles.
21.A 30-piece "Farmers Market" color sorting set for expanding vocabulary, especially when it comes to produce. And no, the fruits and veggies aren't organic but kids can certainly pretend that they are.
22.A 12-pack of durable and sustainable all-natural pure beeswax crayons that are nearly unbreakable and even come with a money-back guarantee. You better bee-lieve it!
24.A 22-piece shaking, tapping, beating, and blowing wooden instrument set to serve as your toddler's very own beat-lab, just as long as they don't actually beat anyone with their new musical toys.
25.A wooden personalized workbench with a 21-piece accessory set including tools, screws, nuts, nails, and more all completely safe for creative and construction (or maybe even a little destructive) playtime.
26.A 10-pack of Play-Doh that there was no way in hell that you'd ever be able to avoid buying. Fortunately, it's all nontoxic, nonirritating, nonallergenic and the packaging is recyclable. But, yeah, it still smells like Play-Doh.
28.A 36-piece wooden pattern blocks animals jigsaw puzzle with patterns for creating animals, vehicles and whatever else your child's rampant imagination can come up with while "developing spatial awareness, color and shape recognition, hand-eye coordination, and problem-solving."
29.A four-wheeled, Hape "Scoot Around Ride-On" wood bike with rubber wheels that'll take it easy on your floors as your toddler develops motor skills as well as strength and balance (because wood ain't light).
30.A light-up "Pick Up and Count" vacuum with bouncing balls, so you can teach your toddler to pick up after themself while making it seem like "fun."
31.A solar-powered Pretend and Play calculator cash register that makes a "cha-ching" noise every time it opens and will introduce concepts of math and finance to your kids as well as soon-to-be-outdated-in-their-lifetime concepts of cash and coins.
Check it out! Don't be a dingus and show up with a lame gift (or no gift at all). Little kids are actually pretty easy to shop for!
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