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15 Signs Your Food Obsession Is Out Of Control

WHERE DA FOOD AT?!?!

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1. You connect with cheese on a spiritual level

Nirvana is achieved through cheese. If you look closely, you might even see God himself giving you a thumbs up. #blessed

2. Guy Fieri is your hero

The man gets PAID to eat, that is literally all he does. He, my friends, is living the American dream.

3. Buffets aren’t gold diggers

Food isn’t after your money, it doesn’t want to give you a lap dance, it just wants to fill you with joy and happiness.

Food isn’t after your money, it doesn’t want to give you a lap dance, it just wants to fill you with joy and happiness.

4. You’ve broken up with a significant other over food

You don’t care about food? Well, I don’t care about you. Check please!

5. Food determines whether or not you go to a party

I don’t want to go to your lame party but if there’s free food then a bitch might just lace up her shoes and power-walk over there.

I don’t want to go to your lame party but if there’s free food then a bitch might just lace up her shoes and power-walk over there.

6. You judge anyone who doesn’t eat carbs

You don’t eat carbs? I bet you don’t like to have fun either.

7. You don’t understand diets

Why would you do that to yourself? I thought human torture was banned in the U.S.?

8. You’re not you when you’re hungry

Feed me or I will burn your house down and dance around the ashes.

9. You’re never not eating

Haven’t eaten in 5 minutes. Must refuel…can’t go on…quick, someone hand me a snack.

10. Uneaten pizza crusts saddens you

If you don’t eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you #justsaying

11. You like food more than people

Food understands, it doesn’t judge, and it won’t ask you a million questions while you’re watching a movie.

12. You keep a stash of snacks beside your bed

What if I get hungry in the middle of the night? What if burglars come in and raid my fridge? What if Edward Cullen comes into my room and the only way to scare him off is with garlic hummus?

What if I get hungry in the middle of the night? What if burglars come in and raid my fridge? What if Edward Cullen comes into my room and the only way to scare him off is with garlic hummus?

13. Food porn is very real

Nothing gets your heart pumping and mouth watering like chocolate being drizzled over chocolate.

14. You have food wrappers lying around your house

You see a mess, I see reminders of all the amazing food I ate. #NoShame

You see a mess, I see reminders of all the amazing food I ate. #NoShame

15. There is no “we” in food

Touch my food and I will cut your hand off with this butter knife. Test me, I dare you.

Touch my food and I will cut your hand off with this butter knife. Test me, I dare you.

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