So this is Christmas. And what have we done? Well, pollsters YouGov have asked people whether Father Christmas would support Brexit. Because that's where we are now.
Well here's your end-of-2016 summary of the British public's psyche.
That's 2016 in a nutshell: an absolutely nonstop firestorm of politics summed up by a poll on whether a fantasy old guy who only emerges at Christmas would vote to leave the EU.
Anyway, the clear conclusion of the British public – who, let's remember, voted by 52% to 48% to leave the EU in that real vote we held this summer – is that Father Christmas would be a Remain voter.
Confusingly, this suggests quite a few people who voted to leave the EU also consider Father Christmas a paid-up member of the Remoaner elite.
Meaning 14% of people knowingly voted a different way to Father Christmas? Is there some Santasceptic faction out t… https://t.co/gcflHANrcS
Admittedly, there were quite a lot of respondents to the poll who said they didn't know which way he would vote, while many insisted Father Christmas wouldn't vote at all, what with him being not real and everything.
Still, the explanations for why the British public think Father Christmas would be a Remain voter need to be explored.
@jimwaterson His job relies on the preservation of freedom of movement.
People picked up on Father Christmas's part-Turkish, part-Lapland background, not to mention his elite status in society.
@jimwaterson yeah but he's part of the fucking establishment and a migrant!
This is all wrapped up with the issue of whether Father Christmas represents the traditional British rendering of a mystical winter spirit or the US invention of Santa Claus, who emigrated to the UK in the 19th century and basically colonised Father Christmas.
There are also serious concerns about his tax status.
@thhamilton @PXEducation @jimwaterson Lapland is both in the EU and the Eurozone, but the North Pole's ambiguous status suits his ends well.
Some Brexit supporters suggested that since Father Christmas wouldn't have access to the EU single market, he would actually benefit from Brexit.
@jimwaterson Not a British or commonwealth citizen so no vote. Santa needs to operate outside the EU so would if he could vote leave.
@jimwaterson never did like the beardy weirdy. #Brexmas
While his use of unregistered overseas workers was considered problematic.
@thhamilton @jimwaterson the elves are, pretty clearly, undermining wages and taking people's jobs too.
@PXEducation @jimwaterson His business model also depends on driving down his workers' pay and conditions, but he's based outside the EU.
The result does go against demographics.
Father Christmas is an old white man, he would have voted leave 😒😒 https://t.co/KW5nGg761a
YouGov also asked the public which political party Father Christmas would support. The Green party won.
In conclusion, Father Christmas probably is a Green-supporting Remain voter who is keen to exploit free trade laws and differential wages within the EU in order to provide cheap toys to UK children from the European periphery while keeping his tax status deliberately vague.
We're very interested in the 3% of the public who think he is a BNP-supporting racist, though.
Happy Brexitmas, everyone!
