The Strangest Phone Calls Between Tony Blair And Bill Clinton

    "My staff won't let me talk to you unless I have a banana at hand. I'm sitting here with a banana; it's a big, ugly, brownish one."

    Here are some of the stranger and more revealing moments in the transcript:

    When Bill Clinton refuses to talk to Blair unless he is holding a banana.

    The time Clinton offers to babysit Blair's forthcoming child.

    The moment Clinton tells Blair about eating moose lips.

    The time Blair and Clinton compete for the biggest namedrop.

    When Clinton makes a joke about "a real Tory aristocrat" being hidden under a "ruffled, intellectual demeanor".

    When Clinton discusses a Pink Panther film with Blair before trying to sort out Northern Ireland.

    When Blair jokes about something that we really hope didn't happen.

    When Blair has to pop out of a constituency surgery in a Durham working men's club to talk to the US president.

    When Clinton compliments Blair on his choirboy good looks.

    When Clinton talks about "pissing down legs" and bananas.

    When Clinton calls Blair to offer his sympathies on the death of Princess Diana.

    When Clinton talks about going hunting with beagles.

    When Clinton made yet another reference to bananas.

    When Clinton asks if he can move to Scotland, take UK citizenship, and have lots of cashmere jumpers.

    When Clinton complains about his "rich yuppie friends".

    When Clinton makes *yet another* reference to both cashmere and bananas.

    When Clinton tells Blair to relax and have a glass of wine.