Politics·Posted on 3 Nov 2014This Conservative MP Is Constantly Tweeting Amazingly Awful JokesChris Heaton-Harris, Conservative MP for Daventry, is a fan of bad puns.by Jim WatersonBuzzFeed News Reporter, UKLinkFacebookPinterestTwitterMail This is Chris Heaton-Harris, Conservative MP for Daventry. His Twitter account is a non-stop stream of jokes. Here's some of Heaton-Harris's worst / best tweets (delete as appropriate): 1. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Walked into a hotel reception earlier. Receptionist asked: "Are you here for the Twitter convention?" I said: "Yes." He said: "Follow me." Fri Sep 21 21:47:42 UTC+0000 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling An ice cream van exploded in Daventry today. Details are flaky, but Police have coned off the area. Hundreds and thousands had to be rescued 07:01 AM - 12 Aug 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling I took an ex-girlfriend to Wimbledon once. She hated it. It rained pretty much the whole time and Vinnie Jones got sent off. 07:00 AM - 23 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Someone just threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me. I’m not hurt, just some super fish oil injuries. 07:01 AM - 30 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Still trying to change Internet password. Just tried using "labourseconomicpolicy" but that was too weak. 08:10 AM - 10 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Woke up in the night thinking that the ghost of Gloria Gaynor was in the room. First I was afraid, I was petrified... 07:00 AM - 25 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling My wife spent the whole of last week looking for the square tool that bleeds the radiator. Turns out I was down in London. 08:01 AM - 16 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling A hungry traveller stops at a monastery. In the kitchen a Brother is frying chips. “Are you the Friar?” he asks. “No I’m the chip monk.” 07:00 AM - 01 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling When I found out my new phone number was going to be in Roman numerals I was LIVID. 07:00 AM - 05 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes. 08:01 AM - 01 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling A man dressed as a clown just held a door open for me. What a nice Jester. 08:01 AM - 06 Feb 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling A hungry traveller stops at a monastery. In the kitchen a Brother is frying chips. “Are you the Friar?” he asks. “No I’m the chip monk.” 07:00 AM - 01 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling My mate asked me to come up with eleven puns about Wimbledon. I reckon Tennis enough. 07:00 AM - 25 Jun 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling I’ve a mate who believes the cradle of civilisation is located in Zagreb. He’s a Croationist. 07:00 AM - 19 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling 3 years of studying for my ballet degree and all I got was a 2:2 08:01 AM - 08 Mar 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling I broke my Hoover a week ago & since then, in an act of defiant irony, it just sits there in the corner, gathering dust. 09:18 PM - 19 Oct 2012 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Breaking: Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. 07:01 AM - 23 May 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling What does an Egyptian Mummy dance to? Rap hat-tip Matt Hancock 07:01 AM - 15 Jul 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Auto-correct can be your own worst enema. 07:00 AM - 09 Apr 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Over the past decade, the price of origami materials has risen tenfold. 08:00 AM - 29 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling Did you hear about the actor who fell through the trap door? It was just a stage he was going through. 07:00 AM - 20 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Chris Heaton-Harris @chhcalling I just got back from a statistical probability conference. I don’t want to be mean, but it was average. 07:01 AM - 10 Oct 2014 Reply Retweet Favorite