1. Classic Marvel logo = good times abound
2. That smooth Fassbender voice never gets old
3. And now for the obligatory mythology reference
4. I'd hate to wear all that stuff in the desert heat
5. The origin of glitter face paint
6. Oscar Isaac spotting!
7. Egypt is probably still recovering from all that property damage
8. Isn't that blond girl actually the world's first mutant?
9. Apocalypse is already living up to his name
10. Classic X symbols. Classic.
11. Lovin' those old-school projector slides
12. Cyclops spotting!
13. Mutant cage fights are a thing now?!?
14. If mutants are more accepted now, then why isn't Raven blue?
15. Did she just punch him with her elbow?!
16. Nightcrawler's intro was way better in X2
17. Magneto's gone rural
18. Where's Charles? Why haven't we seen Charles yet?
19. How does she not recognize Magneto? He doesn't even wear a mask!
20. Don't go there, girl—that's touchy stuff
21. Not loving Alex's hair rn
22. Well that's a handy power
23. Ahh, there's Charles!
24. Is that Jean Grey or Merida from Brave?
25. Egypt is clearly still reeling from Apocalypse's assault
26. Rose Byrne is that you?
27. This looks sketchy af
28. Seriously? A few chants woke him up?
29. Damn, he's back!
30. And I thought my nightmares were scary!
31. Cerebro = world's swankiest cell phone tracker
32. Freudian slip by Charles
33. Oh, that makes sense with his wife now
34. How has no one recognized him until now?
35. Well. That was actually horrible. You can't recover from that. Poor Erik ☹
36. Storm warning!
37. The origin of creeping your ex on Facebook
40. Storm is fangirling!
41. I wish I could be like Apocalypse when studying for finals
42. He could benefit from some color contacts
43. Storm prematurely aged
44. Olivia Munn!
45. Jill hates this third person stuff
46. Those are the sickest shades I've ever seen
47. Look at all these #reunions!
48. Dude, read the room
49. Why doesn't Psylocke just use two swords?
50. What brand are those ruby sunglasses?
51. Never fly drunk, Angel
52. Angel could easily take on Clove from District 2
53. That made it awkward when she mentioned Erik
54. Do they even understand English in that factory?
55. Henryk, Erik, same diff! (I wrote this before he said "Magneto"!)
56. That's Wolverine's line!
57. No fair, man
58. I never realized how much metal there is in the world
60. Is this mom telepathic?
61. She clearly has some history with Magneto…
62. X-Men: First Class throwback!
63. I love how they make fun of their own franchise sequel
64. And the #reunions continue!
65. Erik always brings up so many hard feelings!
66. Charles looks like a bug with the Cerebro helmet on
67. Yet another Marvel character with unexplained dressmaking powers
68. "Hello, old friend." There it is!
69. This Cerebro videochat gets a way better connection than my Skype calls
72. Stan Lee and his wife?
73. Oh shit
74. Well, now this is officially the best portion of the movie
75. He's awesome
76. So much for those grand university plans
77. That expression, though
78. The kid who whispers "That's awesome" is all of us
79. Please don't get rid of Quicksilver just yet
80. Stryker looks like he's picking teams for dodgeball
81. Jean's eyes match her blazer—was that intentional?
82. Why was Jubilee kicked out of their squad? #discrimination
83. Wait a second, is Wolverine not gonna be in this movie? Say what?
84. Apocalypse and his Four Horsemen vs. the Avengers—Marvel, make it happen!
85. Sigh. Still fighting over Erik
86. None of this would have happened if Charles had just used a plastic wheelchair
88. No fair, the trailers did not prepare me for Charles' brainwashing
89. Logan? Please say it's him!
90. Oh wow, I'm so happy!
91. Weapon X? Seriously?
92. Wow, I also didn't see that coming
93. Are you sure you'll be right back, Stryker?
94. This is actually quite gory for Wolverine
95. And the love triangle begins!
97. Jean should be very turned off rn
98. Wishful thinking, Scott
99. (Scott blasting open the chamber) Well that works, too
100. How long is Charles' hair gonna last for?
101. That escalated quickly
102. Magneto's helmet, now in stylish bronze
103. JLaw looks bored of this franchise
104. More Mystique fangirling
105. Quicksilver, where have you been all my life?
106. Does Magneto float by his metal helmet? How does he not have a massive headache?
107. Is Logan coming back?
108. Oh dear, is Oscar Isaac gonna invade Charles? (sorry, that was dirtier than I intended)
109. You know, there's such a thing as being too powerful
110. These metal spirals look like DNA
111. When did they have time to erect those massive statues?
112. "In the future, believe it or not, we're all gonna be friends!" –Storm
113. Wow, Psylocke is badass!
115. "How could you move on from me, you jerk?" –Raven, to Magneto
116. They're running out of time!
117. Go go go
118. There goes the hair!
119. Oh wow, that was insane!
120. I'm getting Harry and Voldemort feels
121. "Curses, foiled again!" -Apocalypse
122. This is not the time for glitches, Nightcrawler, dammit
123. Charles' First Class haircut was so much better
124. The bromance continues
125. Ok, Quicksilver is up
126. Ok, that was a total sucker-punch to the knee
127.I saw that Psylocke betrayal coming a mile awa—wait, nevermind, it's Mystique
128. Storm, calm down
129. That cowlick, though
130. "My house" (literally)
131. Let's do the time warp again
132. MAGNETO'S X!!! Loving it!
133. Logan, where are you?
134. Nice boots, Jean
135. (Jean walking on nothing) Woah, that's a disconcerting sight
136. Apocalypse bonfire?
137. "Well, that was fun guys, who wants ice cream?" –Jean
138. That knowing nod
139. What happened to the yellow suits from First Class?
140. Even premature bald guys can find love
141. Magneto and Jean rebuild the school #teamwork
142. So when does Storm lose her accent?
143. Whatever happened to Psylocke?
6 Thoughts I Had While Watching The Post-Credits Scene
1. What, no mid-credits scene? LAME
2. I really need to pee, so could these credits hurry up pls?
3. No way, this movie was filmed in British Columbia!
4. Yes, the lovely logos
5. That can't be good
6. Essex corp? Should I know what that is? (I'm not a comics reader, if you haven't already picked up on that)
1. Apocalypse is the worst villain ever! He literally does none of the work
2. Alternate title—X-Men: Jean Grey Has Her Day