15. “Woah, make the ground move, that’s an ass-quake. Built a house up on that ass, that’s an ass-state. Roll my weed on it, that’s an ass-tray.” - Big Sean, “Mercy”
BREAKING: Kim Kardashian shatters Richter scale while using lounge chair.
14. “I love bad bitches, that’s my f*ckin’ problem, and yeah I like to f*ck, I got a f*ckin’ problem.” - Drake, 2 Chainz, Kendrick Lamar, “F*ckin’ Problems”
My family is starving, that’s my f*ckin’ problem. And I have $100,000 in student loans, I got a f*ckin’ problem.
13. “Make a movie with your bitch, Steven Spiel-n*gga.” - Lil’ Wayne, “Bandz A Make Her Dance”
I’m more of a Quentin Tarantin*gga, myself.
12. “Bandz a make her dance. These chicks clappin’, and they ain’t usin’ hands.” - Juicy J, “Bandz A Make Her Dance”
THEN WHAT ARE THEY USING????
IS THIS SONG IN ENGLISH???
11. “Coupe the color of Mayonnaise” - 2 Chainz, “Mercy”
And his boat the color of Relish.
10. “Feed them bitches carrots, f*ck ‘em like a rabbit. Sorry, that’s a habit.” - Rick Ross, “Pop That”
Well at least he fed them. And apologized. That makes it better.
9. “I got big money visions, Sammy Sosa pigeons. What that mean? That mean they jumpin’ out the kitchen.” - Cash Out, “Cashin’ Out”
He explained himself really well right there. Now I 100% understand “what that mean”.
8. “I gets lotsa commas, I can f*ck yo mama, I ain’t with the drama, You can meet my llama.” - Chief Sosa, “Love Sosa”
That’s totally fine - go have sex with my mom, I’ll meet you around back in the llama farm. Can’t wait to meet it.
7. “Walk up to the club like, ‘What up? I got a big cock!’” - Macklemore, “Thrift Shop”
Bouncer: “Ok, but the cover is still $10…”
6. “Almost drowned in her p*ssy, so I swam to her butt.” - Lil’ Wayne, “The Motto”
Get the hell out of my digestive system. And take your swimmies with you.
5. “I’m bill droppin’, Ms. Pacman is pill poppin’ ass hoe, I’m poppin’ too, these blue dolphins need two coffins.” - Pusha T, “Mercy”
4. “She knows my d*ck, she call that n*gga Richard.” - Lil’ Wayne, “Faded”
She also knows my sister, Kathryn, and my mother, Jennifer. But she calls them both “penis”. Really weird girl.
3. “We shootin’ at the police just for fun, n*gga. Yeah, most my n*ggas rob, they ain’t gotta job.” - Gucci Mane, “Young N*ggas”
Kid 1: “Hey do you want to play in the sprinkler today?”
Kid 2: “No, let’s just murder cops!”
Kid 1 & 2: “YAYYYY!”
2. “Man, I just shitted on ‘em. Shitted on ‘em. Put your number 2’s in the air If you did it on ‘em.” - Nicki Minaj, “Did It On ‘Em”
What number do I put in the air if I got my period on them?
1. “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMP.” - Skrillex, “F*cking Die”
…Is it just me or does Skrillex look like gay Snape?
- Hillary Clinton's campaign was reportedly hacked as part of what appears to be a broad cyber attack on Democrats.
- A federal court struck down North Carolina's voting restrictions, ruling they intentionally made it harder for black people to vote.
- Four people in Florida are likely the first to contract the Zika virus from mosquitos in the US, the state's governor says.