1. Proud member of the horizontal running team! We bring our own donuts to every practice.
2. Sorry, I must have misunderstood you. There's no food at this place?
3. If I knew my day was going to lead me here, I never would've gotten up.
4. You know you hate the gym too. Don't give me that "It makes me happy" crap.
5. Sorry not sorry.
6. Swimming in shark-infested waters is more fun than hearing about your gym life.
7. Oh, you actually wanted to go to spin class? You were serious?
8. Making out vs. doing squats until my thighs feel like jelly. No question.
9. Even Shakespeare doesn't want me to go to the gym.
10. There's nothing wrong with living in a fantasy world, i.e. a world without gyms.
11. No, I'm not making this up. My new identity forbids me from working out.
12. I'm too out of shape to get in shape, which makes sense if you think about it.
13. Thinking about it and doing it are basically the same thing, right?
14. No one likes it here. Why does this place exist?
15. It's cheat day every day.
16. The honest truth.
17. Seriously, no one is impressed by how much you can lift.
18. I'm not going to cheat on my one true love, i.e. food, with the gym. I'm better than that.
19. See, I'm not completely anti-gym.
20. I'll be in bed with a pizza and Netflix if you need me.
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