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    15 Beautiful Houseplants You Can Actually Order Online

    Get ready for Millennial Green.

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    In 100 years, when the humans of the future are studying the Millennial Age, they will have a lot of evidence the fecklessness, entitlement, and ruthlessness of the Millennial Generation.

    Millennials, who know no God other than their own self indulgence, have turned their backs on fabric softener…

    Provided that humans are still around in 100 years, they'll have any number of think-pieces, trend-pieces, Twitter rejoinders, and, of course, shades of pink to help them answer the question: What was the Millennial, and why did it love avocado so much?

    The Washington Post recently gave future generations another bit of insight into the Millennial Agenda with an article about their love of houseplants.

    Funny or Die / Via

    To be fair, houseplants also die in darkness!

    But you know what? I, a Millennial (actually, an Old Millennial), can find no fault with this article. I, too, love houseplants! Are they filling a hold in my heart? Unclear, but probably!

    Since Millennials also love buying things online, here are some beautiful plants you can there!

    Don't buy a home; buy plants. Actually, build a tiny house out of an avocado tree and let me know how it goes.

    1. A little family of baby succulents just begging to be anthropomorphized.

    You're all my favorite.

    Promising review: "The succulents arrived quicker then estimated. They arrived intact with no parts detached. They are so cute! I love them!" —Amazon Customer

    Get a set of five succulents on Amazon for $7.50.

    2. Air plants that will make your home #plantgang ready, no soil required.

    DIY a terrarium, put them in hollowed-out corks, make a diorama of your favorite scene in literature but all the characters are air plants... I'm just saying, be the Millennial trend-piece you wish to see in the Post!

    Get a set of 11 plants and a bottle of fertilizer on Amazon for $22.95.

    3. A snake plant (AKA Mother in Law's Tongue), which is harder to kill than the diamond industry.

    Snake Plants need very little water and thrive in indirect sunlight. And if mine is any indication, they respond well to being serenaded with Bruno Mars songs.

    Get one on Amazon for $14.99.

    4. A gardening subscription box, complete with live plants and garden decor.

    Commit to the jungalow lifestyle with a monthly box!

    Promising review: "My Garden Box was better than I had anticipated. The packaging was fantastic and I was able to set it up easily with the clear directions. Everything arrived in perfect condition and my new plants are happily sunning themselves in the window." —Bethany

    Get it at Cratejoy for $29.50/month.

    5. A desert in a dish that won't ever leave you high and dry.

    For all you Santa Fe dreamers.

    Get it at 1-800-Flowers for $29.99.

    6. A string of pearls succulent, if you're looking for a plant that knows how to accessorize.

    These little ones don't need a ton of water, but they thrive in direct sunlight.

    Promising review: "Exactly as described. Fast shipping and it arrived in perfect condition. Thank you! I'll be buying another one of these because I love them so much!" —Ashlyn

    Get it at Panicle and Frond on Etsy for $6.99.

    7. A fiddle-leaf fig, which, according to the Washington Post, "has achieved what is known in the Instagram universe as holy-grail status."


    Get it on Amazon for $16.99.

    8. A prayer plant. Let it be your induction into the religion of indoor foliage.

    Promising review: "These prayer plants have been awesome. Here I am almost 3 years later and they are as abundant with life as when I first got them.

    We have had occasions in which we were unable to water them for a week and although they appreciated the water when we returned their growth did not lapse." —The J

    Get it on Amazon for $5.72.

    9. A Venus Flytrap, in case you like your plants with a little extra danger.

    Think-piece idea: "Are Plant-Crazed Millennials Killing All the Flies?"

    Promising review: "I've never owned a fly trap before but I always thought they looked pretty cool. After seeing this on Amazon and reading the reviews it was pretty clear that Joel was the right guy to buy from. The plant arrived after a week or so wrapped up exactly as he said it would. Everything you needed was included (except a dish and distilled water). His instructions were EXTREMELY easy to follow. Excellent service and the guy seems really passionate about what he does." —Andrew

    Get it on Amazon for $21.95.

    10. A jade plant, which is a symbol of luck, friendship, and prosperity.


    Promising review: "This is a gorgeous jade plant. It came super fast, and it was very well packaged. The plant itself is way more than I expected, so I am well beyond satisfied. Thank you!" —thecollector

    Get it on Amazon for $15.99.

    11. A large monstera that's much friendlier than its name suggests.

    Promising review: "My monstera was very nicely packaged, came very quickly, and shows no signs of damage. Overall, I'm very happy with my purchase!" —Lauryn

    Get it at Swamp Life on Etsy for $24.99.

    12. A hearty rubber plant, which ~bounces back~ quickly.

    According to the product description, it can endure "generally poor treatment," which... 🙃

    Promising review: "The plant arrived five days early and I could not be more impressed! It arrived packaged in a tall box and was cushioned by foam peanuts. This rubber tree arrived in stunning condition and is a terrific addition to my collection!" —Tisoy

    Get it on Amazon for $12.

    13. An adorable aloe plant that can soothe your skin and your loneliness.

    Aloe... is it me you're looking for?

    Get it at The Sill for $9.

    14. A starter set of four pretty plants to put your house jungle on the right track.

    You'll get a snake plant, a parlor palm, a golden pothos, and a fowering peace lily.

    Promising review: "So awesome!!!!! Beautiful, healthy plants, quick shipping, and cute packaging. I would buy more if I had space for them!" —Carson

    Get the set on Amazon for $59.99.

    15. And an orchid, beautiful but finicky, for the expert-level Millennial gardeners among you.

    Get it at 1-800-Flowers for $49.99.

    Godspeed to you all!

    Disney / Via

    The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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