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11 Things Skinny People Are Tired Of Hearing

From falling down a crack in the pavement, to blowing away in a strong gust of wind and hoping every dog doesn’t mistake you for a stick; everyday is a struggle for skinny people. So do us all a favour and NEVER let the following 11 statements pass your lips.

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1. OMG How Skinny Are Your Wrists?


First there is the realisation that your wrists are in proportion with the rest of your body and yes, they are slim. Next is the comparison between your wrist and their own wrist, immediately followed by the need to wrap their fingers round you and gasp in amazement at the fact they can hold your wrist in one hand. They’d better have a tight grip of that wrist because when they let go, you cannot be held responsible for your actions.

2. Do You Ever Eat?


I’ve dabbled in photosynthesis on numerous occasions, but I’ve found it’s just not as effective as eating so yes, I eat. In fact, I probably eat more than you, your uncle’s cat and that guy who works in the co-op all put together, so excuse me for having a fast metabolism.

3. “Real Men Like Curves, Only Dogs Like Bones”


Skinny celebrities are constantly criticised for encouraging young girls to pursue an “unhealthy” body image, whilst overweight celebrities are hailed as “real women” with “real curves”. Last time I checked, being overweight is not a healthy body image. We are all different and a healthy body comes in all different shapes and sizes. Plus, any hole’s a goal so I don’t think guys will hold your petite frame against you.

4. Why Do You Bother Wearing A Bra?


I may not be Katie Price but I still have nipples that can cut glass on a cold winters day, so believe me when I say this 28AA bra that still fits me after 6 years is completely necessary.

5. How Much Do You Weigh?


At what point did this become an acceptable question to ask any woman, ever? If I were to ask an overweight person how much they weighed, all hell would break loose, yet it is deemed socially acceptable to ask a skinny person their weight. If you willingly answer this preposterous question, they then feel the need to tell you how much they weigh, using you as a unit of measurement – “OMG so I weigh like 3 of you”. Yep, but I am a 5ft3 girl and you are a 6ft2 rugby player so this should not come as a surprise to you.

7. If You Took Your Bikini Top Off, People Would Think You Were A Boy


Perhaps I’m hanging out with the wrong crowd, but every time I visit the beach - without fail – one of my guy friends will crack this hilarious and original joke. Say that joke one more time and when you take your board shorts off, people will be questioning your gender too.

8. I Have Something In My Teeth; Can I Use You As A Toothpick?


Yep, I am speaking from personal experience here, this is a legitimate quote which was followed by me being picked up (of course) and used as a toothpick. Dogs like bones but guys like toothpicks apparently, so there is still hope for us skinny girls.

9. I'm Scared You Will Snap In Half


You will probably hear this quote right about the time they grab your wrist, pick you up or attempt to use you to remove last nights dinner from between their teeth. Everyone claims to have this irrational fear of breaking you, but this doesn’t stop them from throwing you round like a rag doll.

10. Your Clothes Look Like Dolls Clothes


I don’t know what dolls you played with as a child, but if they were 5ft3 and a size 6 then I think you may need to make a long overdue call to ChildLine. “I couldn’t even fit one leg inside those shorts” – and I could use yours to take my family of 6 camping but some things are better left unsaid.

11. How Will You Ever Bear A Child?


Well, nothing is set in stone yet but I was THINKING - all being well - I might start off with the baby in my womb and then go from there; I’ve heard that works for every other woman anyway.

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