1. Lower your expectations...
2. The pursuit of success begins in high school. Choose subjects that have a valid career path.
3. Before you decide on a career path - check there are jobs!
4. Do not move out of home until you are at least 25 years old!
5. Buy an apartment ASAP!
6. Live in a small, cheap town. Die in that town.
7. Marry a banker.
8. Better yet, stay single.
9. Do not have children.
10. Pet ownership? Hell no.
11. If you have a child (shame on you) but do NOT privately educate them!
12. Forget holidays, they are a myth.
13. Never host a dinner party.
14. Car ownership is not an option.
15. Birthday parties are a no-fly zone...
16. You do not NEED a mobile phone.
17. Get rid of that gym membership, fast.
18. Eat cheap
19. Enjoy a good pedicure? Stop it.
20. Be alone.
This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!