1. Dads are lazy. So lazy that they have to invent things to aid in their supreme laziness.
It’s like MacGyver, but instead of saving the world, they’re saving themselves the trouble of getting off the couch.
2. Dads fart. A lot.
3. And they make weird smirks while they do it.
As well as disrupting the tranquility of nature.
4. Dads are not very good with grills or fire.
(Which could also be interpreted as a fart joke.)
5. A dad’s favorite thing to do is nothing.
Which he would do more if he wasn’t always being bossed around by his wife.
6. Dads love naps.
But even more than that, they love pretending that they don’t love naps.
7. The easy chair is a dads favorite place…
8. …even if they don’t always know how to use it.
9. The best part about being a dad is that you can just watch TV for hours.
10. Dads love beer.
11. They really love beer.
12. Dads love saying cliche things about money.
13. When they’re not sleeping, Dads are ALWAYS fishing.
16. If you have a dad that’s not a lazy beer-drinking sack of potatoes that walked ten miles in the snow to his fishing hole when he was a kid, consider buying him one of these cards instead.
- Republican and Democratic senators have demanded inquiry into Russian election interference in a joint statement released Sunday.
- At least 38 people are dead and more than 160 hurt after explosions outside a stadium in Turkey, the country's interior minister said.
- Trump will reportedly pick ExxonMobil's CEO Rex Tillerson as secretary of state. He has a long history of oil deals with Russia.
- "Saturday Night Live" revealed Donald Trump's newest pick to lead the Drug Enforcement Agency: Walter White.