DIY

What All Dads Are Like, According To Father’s Day Cards

Beer and naps. Lots of naps.

1. Dads are lazy. So lazy that they have to invent things to aid in their supreme laziness.

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It’s like MacGyver, but instead of saving the world, they’re saving themselves the trouble of getting off the couch.

2. Dads fart. A lot.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

3. And they make weird smirks while they do it.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

As well as disrupting the tranquility of nature.

4. Dads are not very good with grills or fire.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

(Which could also be interpreted as a fart joke.)

5. A dad’s favorite thing to do is nothing.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Which he would do more if he wasn’t always being bossed around by his wife.

6. Dads love naps.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

But even more than that, they love pretending that they don’t love naps.

7. The easy chair is a dads favorite place…

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

8. …even if they don’t always know how to use it.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

9. The best part about being a dad is that you can just watch TV for hours.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

10. Dads love beer.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

11. They really love beer.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

12. Dads love saying cliche things about money.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

13. When they’re not sleeping, Dads are ALWAYS fishing.

14. Dads need really basic instructions on how NOT to be a dad.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

 

Otherwise they might let the baby drive the car!

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

 

Or blow up the toilet! Or cut carrots with a chainsaw and terrify their daughters.

16. If you have a dad that’s not a lazy beer-drinking sack of potatoes that walked ten miles in the snow to his fishing hole when he was a kid, consider buying him one of these cards instead.

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