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What All Dads Are Like, According To Father's Day Cards

Beer and naps. Lots of naps.

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Dads are lazy. So lazy that they have to invent things to aid in their supreme laziness.

It's like MacGyver, but instead of saving the world, they're saving themselves the trouble of getting off the couch.
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

It's like MacGyver, but instead of saving the world, they're saving themselves the trouble of getting off the couch.

Dads fart. A lot.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

And they make weird smirks while they do it.

As well as disrupting the tranquility of nature.
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

As well as disrupting the tranquility of nature.

Dads are not very good with grills or fire.

(Which could also be interpreted as a fart joke.)
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

(Which could also be interpreted as a fart joke.)

A dad's favorite thing to do is nothing.

Which he would do more if he wasn't always being bossed around by his wife.
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Which he would do more if he wasn't always being bossed around by his wife.

Dads love naps.

But even more than that, they love pretending that they don't love naps.
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

But even more than that, they love pretending that they don't love naps.

The easy chair is a dads favorite place...

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

...even if they don't always know how to use it.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

The best part about being a dad is that you can just watch TV for hours.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Dads love beer.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

They really love beer.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Dads love saying cliche things about money.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

When they're not sleeping, Dads are ALWAYS fishing.

Dads need really basic instructions on how NOT to be a dad.

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Otherwise they might let the baby drive the car!

Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed
Jessica Probus / BuzzFeed

Or blow up the toilet! Or cut carrots with a chainsaw and terrify their daughters.

If you have a dad that's not a lazy beer-drinking sack of potatoes that walked ten miles in the snow to his fishing hole when he was a kid, consider buying him one of these cards instead.

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