1. The Fried Green Tomato Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Ask your partner to taste the vegan chocolate beet cake you are making. When she says it’s “OK,” show her how you really feel by rubbing the rest of the batter from your finger down the side of her face. Your partner will then fling a full spoon of flour on your head. Put your fingers deep into the bowl of melted butter and run them along your partner’s arms. Don’t stop until you’ve made a real mess. 2. The Solo Lesbo Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Your partner is away or in the other room or you haven’t met her yet. Use one hand to flip through free porn videos looking for two girls that look remotely interested in each other, and the other hand to rub yourself. Give up and go to the video you have bookmarked, but get distracted before it even finishes buffering because you’re already coming. 3. The F Word Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Watch three episodes of The L Word in a row. Gently make fun of the heteronormative, unnaturally femme, traditionally attractive cast. Tell each other that’s not how “real lesbians” fuck. Keep pretending like it’s not actually turning you on until you can’t look at Jenny’s stupid face anymore. Reenact that last scene with The Carpenter. 4. “It’s a Process” Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Your ex has a lot of feelings, and it’s time to analyze them together. For this position, make a pot of aromatic herbal tea (lemon balm is great) and sit in a comfortable chair. As she goes off on a diatribe about how it made her feel to hear you say you didn’t think But I’m a Cheerleader was all that good, relax your body and make sure you aren’t communicating any aggression through your body language. Reaching a resolution about this, well, HECK it’s better than sexual climax! 5. The U-Haul Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed So you made it to the second date! Time to rent a truck. Turns out bumpy car rides are very sensual. Pretty much just lay down flat in the back while your new partner drives up a steep canyon to pick up some raw birch shaker chairs and make sure you moan loud enough that she can share in your pleasure. 6. The Strap-Off Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Both of you both sport strap-ons for this position. Compare your dildos for size and texture. Sword fight a little. Laugh as you chase each other around the room. Play ring toss. 7. The Urge to Merge Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Hear yourself answering a question at the same time as your partner in the exact same voice and shudder so hard you both orgasm. 8. The Lazy Susan Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed You lay behind your partner in bed like two spoons in a drawer, while Orange Is the New Black plays on her laptop. After a particularly steamy scene, you are aroused, so you attempt to awaken your snoozing lover. At that moment your cat leaps into bed, and as you shoo it away, knocks a glass of seltzer off your nightstand onto the computer. Your sleeping beauty awakens with a start, and screams into the night as you console her, instructing her to "put it in rice." 9. The Yoga Jones Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Stand naked on a chair, in a sort of half-plié. Your partner lays down beneath the chair, with arms extended toward the ceiling, rotating her arms in small circles. Due to the limited access to erogenous zones, you’re really going to have to use your imagination for this one. (And statistically you’ll be picturing Rachel Weisz.) 10. The #YesAllLesbians Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Become so concerned with being too heteronormative in your choice of sex position that you retire in defeat, only to become aroused by a Twitter argument about whether Kristen Stewart and Jennifer Lawrence were canoodling at Sundance. 11. The [REDACTED]** Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed Have your partner lay with her [redacted] gently rubbing your [redacted]. Turn your [redacted] toward [redacted] and [redacted redacted redacted] until she [hard redacted] all over your [redacted].**Information has been withheld to prevent the male gaze from fetishizing this act and to protect the secrets of the Lesbians Templar.