back to top

26 Things That Would Have Been Better With Jorts

Besides literally everything.

Buda Mendes / Getty Images

1. Adam and Eve

Things might have gone better if the original sinners were never-nudes.
uploads0.wikipaintings.org!HalfHD.jpg

Things might have gone better if the original sinners were never-nudes.

2. That Gotye Song

"But you didn't have to cut me off" [Pans down to reveal jorts]
youtube.com

"But you didn't have to cut me off" [Pans down to reveal jorts]

3. The VMAs

You can blur lines, but you can never blur jorts.
Neilson Barnard / Staff / Getty Images

You can blur lines, but you can never blur jorts.

Advertisement

4. The Statue of Liberty

Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to wear jorts.
upload.wikimedia.org

Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to wear jorts.

5. The Drawing Scene in Titanic

Twentieth-Century Fox

"Draw me like one of your French jorts."

6. Pharell at the Oscars

If you're gunna go casual, take it all the way.
Michael Buckner / Getty Images

If you're gunna go casual, take it all the way.

7. The Birth of Venus

Advertisement

8. The Bill from Schoolhouse Rock

The committee on jorts is always in session.
ABC

The committee on jorts is always in session.

9. Alf

10. Paula Deen

Them are jorts, ya'll.
Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty Images

Them are jorts, ya'll.

11. Marie Antoinette

Let them wear jorts.
vi.wikipedia.org

Let them wear jorts.

Advertisement

12. Zebras

13. Pink Floyd

14. The Royal Wedding

No one would be looking at her hat, that's for sure.
Pascal Le Segretain / Getty Images

No one would be looking at her hat, that's for sure.

15. The Little Mermaid

Step 1: Get Legs. Step 2: Put jorts on them.
Disney

Step 1: Get Legs. Step 2: Put jorts on them.

Advertisement

16. The Kidnapping of Patti Hearst

17. Lady Godiva

Everyone knows you shouldn't ride naked on a horse.
en.wikipedia.org

Everyone knows you shouldn't ride naked on a horse.

18. Beyonce

JK BEY YOU'RE PERFECT DON'T EVER CHANGE. *hides from Solange*
Buda Mendes / Getty Images

JK BEY YOU'RE PERFECT DON'T EVER CHANGE.

*hides from Solange*

19. The Louisiana Purchase

It was already a good deal. But it would have been a GREAT deal if jorts were included.
upload.wikimedia.org

It was already a good deal. But it would have been a GREAT deal if jorts were included.

Advertisement

20. Tonya Harding

10.0 for jorts!
Simon Bruty / Staff / Getty Images

10.0 for jorts!

21. Lindsay Lohan's Mugshots

Handout / Getty Images

22. Sex and the City

Miranda would never wear jorts, though.
HBO / etsy.com

Miranda would never wear jorts, though.

23. The Moon Landing

One small step for man, one giant leap for jeankind.
NASA / Hulton Archives / Getty Images

One small step for man, one giant leap for jeankind.

Advertisement

24. Every Different Sport

ESPN

25. The Mona Lisa

Although, who's to say this *~didn't~* happen.
upload.wikimedia.org / Thinkstock

Although, who's to say this *~didn't~* happen.

26. Barney

AND A TINY ADORABLE SELENA GOMEZ ALSO IN JORTS.
popcultureblog.dallasnews.com

AND A TINY ADORABLE SELENA GOMEZ ALSO IN JORTS.

Case closed.

Connect with As/Is