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Alcoholic Sparkling Water Exists And We Tried It

"It... sticks to your teeth??"

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Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Here in San Francisco, the land of voter-approved soda taxes and constant peer pressure to do healthy things like "hike" and "camp," our office has become a team of OUT OF CONTROL SELTZER ADDICTS.

Here is a pic of our current La Croix stash. Some people have been known to average five (5) cans a day, including one of our writers who has lovingly paired them with various meals. ("Strawberry pineapple is really more of a 'breakfast La Croix.'")
Jess Misener / BuzzFeed

Here is a pic of our current La Croix stash. Some people have been known to average five (5) cans a day, including one of our writers who has lovingly paired them with various meals. ("Strawberry pineapple is really more of a 'breakfast La Croix.'")

We are also fans of the ~occasional~ adult beverage.

This is the bottom half of our fridge. Don't worry, it NEVER gets touched before 5 p.m. I mean 4 p.m. Definitely not before 3 p.m.
Jess Misener / BuzzFeed

This is the bottom half of our fridge. Don't worry, it NEVER gets touched before 5 p.m. I mean 4 p.m. Definitely not before 3 p.m.

So naturally, when we learned of the existence of SELTZER THAT HAS BOOZE IN IT, we were quite excited.

We snagged three kinds of boozy bubbles to sample.

The three brands that sent us samples to try are all clearly (get it?) going for a minimal, refreshing graphic design concept. But, as knowledgable seltzer pundits, we weren't swayed by the emperor's fancy clothes; we wanted to taste-test the seltzer's potentially pale and flabby underbelly.
Jeff Barron / David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

The three brands that sent us samples to try are all clearly (get it?) going for a minimal, refreshing graphic design concept. But, as knowledgable seltzer pundits, we weren't swayed by the emperor's fancy clothes; we wanted to taste-test the seltzer's potentially pale and flabby underbelly.

First, we tried a brand called Nauti Seltzer.

Nauti Seltzer comes from Massachusetts, where people drinking it are required by law to be wearing lobster pants and Sperries. It comes in four varieties: grapefruit, raspberry, lemon lime, and cranberry.
Jeff Barron / David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

Nauti Seltzer comes from Massachusetts, where people drinking it are required by law to be wearing lobster pants and Sperries. It comes in four varieties: grapefruit, raspberry, lemon lime, and cranberry.

Ainsley: "This is probably like if you wanted to get stealth drunk, like at church or during a PTA meeting."

Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Jess: "It tastes like a fruit flavored Coors Light."

Matthew: "If this was all that was left at the party, I would drink it."

Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Sheera: "The pomegranate flavor tastes nothing like pomegranate."

RATING: 2 bubbles

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Next up was Truly Spiked And Sparkling.

Truly refers to its flavors as "Styles," which include pomegranate, grapefruit and pomelo and lime, and promotes itself as "just like sparkling water, but with 5% alcohol by volume."Truly also has the prettiest packaging. NOT THAT WE'RE SWAYED BY THAT.
Jeff Barron / David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

Truly refers to its flavors as "Styles," which include pomegranate, grapefruit and pomelo and lime, and promotes itself as "just like sparkling water, but with 5% alcohol by volume."

Truly also has the prettiest packaging. NOT THAT WE'RE SWAYED BY THAT.

It also comes with pairing suggestions, like "aged cheddar and almonds."

Jess Misener / BuzzFeed

Farryn: "It smells like champagne and has a weird aftertaste."

Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Ainsley: "This is really bad. I would drink it if it were zero calories."

Sheera: "It tastes like bad La Croix."

Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Jeff: "It's ~truly~ terrible."

RATING: 1 bubble (out of 5)

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Spiked Seltzer

Spiked Seltzer is 6% alcohol, and the company describes it as "clean and clear without the sugary sweetness of wine or the heaviness of beer." The beverage comes in Cape Cod Cranberry, Indian River Grapefruit, West Indies Lime, and Valencia Orange flavors.
Jeff Barron / David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

Spiked Seltzer is 6% alcohol, and the company describes it as "clean and clear without the sugary sweetness of wine or the heaviness of beer." The beverage comes in Cape Cod Cranberry, Indian River Grapefruit, West Indies Lime, and Valencia Orange flavors.

Brendan: "Cranberry isn’t terrible. Lime isn’t bad, but it feels like it sticks to your teeth."

Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Farryn: "The grapefruit flavor is best out of all of them. I'm digging it, and I don’t even like seltzer water."

Jeff: "It tastes like a watered down white wine."

Jeff Barron / BuzzFeed

Sheera: "But it doesn’t taste enough like wine."

RATING: 3 bubbles

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Conclusion: Alcoholic seltzer could be up your alley if you're seeking a less sugary alternative to Smirnoff Ice, or you're day drinking but don't like the taste of beer.

Jeff Barron / David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

Otherwise, skip it, because you will be allowing a LOT of burps to shimmy up through your esophagus with very little reward to your tastebuds.

Jeff Barron / David Bertozzi / BuzzFeed

BUT. Here is a pro tip we discovered while buzzed on all the seltz: The best way to get smashed on seltzer is to put some vodka in the brand you already like.

BELLISSIMO! *kisses fingertips*
Jess Misener / BuzzFeed

BELLISSIMO! *kisses fingertips*

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