• Got with Aphrodite while she was still married
• Killed Adonis, who also wanted to get with Aphrodite
• Basically murdered everyone
• Had his throne on Mount Olympus made out of human skin
• Was such a dick no Greek city wanted him to be their patron god
• Raped Medusa when she was a child
• Slept with his sister Demeter, who turned into a mare to avoid him; he turned himself into a stallion and was like LET’S DO THIS
• Screwed up Odysessus’ journey by making him get in a shipwreck
• Made King Minos’ wife have an affair with a bull
• Made a bunch of earthquakes when he got bored
• Had A LOT of mistresses
• Hired a nymph to distract Hera from his affairs by talking incessantly
• Turned into a bull and then raped Europa
• Turned a woman into a tortoise for refusing to go to his wedding
• Killed a guy with a thunderbolt for attempting to impersonate him, riding around in a bronze chariot and loudly imitating thunder (which is pretty hilarious TBH)
• Made Prometheus have his liver eaten by a giant eagle every day
• Threw one of his kids off Mount Olympus just because he was ugly
- An airplane carrying Republican VP candidate Mike Pence skidded off the runway at New York City's LaGuardia airport. No one was injured.
- A federal jury cleared the leaders of an Oregon standoff. The militia group took over a wildlife refuge last January.
- A Trump official says the campaign has "three major voter suppression operations underway."
- RIP — Vine says it's discontinuing its mobile app, effectively ending the 6-second video service 💀