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SMALL. TALK. AT. THE. HAIR. SALON. Inspired by this Reddit thread.
People are singing in my face and where am I supposed to be looking??
What do I say? What do I EVEN SAY??
Don't leave my side! Oh god.
"Oh you know, same old, same old!" *melts into carpet Alex Mack style*
"Pardon me, if you could put down your book and stand up so I can empty my bladder, that would be great. Or it could be a #2, who knows! Anyway, can you please move? Thanks!"
"So...sports?"
"Hey, how you...been?"
Or WORSE, the locker room.
Them: "HEY, WHAT TIME IS IT?"
You: "Haha." nods
Look straight ahead.
Look down.
Look straight ahead but not at them.
Look out the window.
Turn head: "Hi!"
Oh, I have to CALL to make a doctor's appointment? I'm probably not that sick anyway.
"Thanks! I picked them out myself!"
"DO YOU WANT TO GET A DRINK??"
"WHAT!"
"ANOTHER DRINK DO YOU WANT ONE?"
"HUH?????"
"NEVER MIND!"
For some reason, asking someone if they want to get a platonic drink is as nerve-racking as asking for a date.