19 Meals Every Vegetarian Has Suffered Through

*grimace emoji*

1. The Portobello Mushroom

“I know, how about…a grilled rubber tire sandwich on the world’s hardest-to-chew bread?” —every menu creator

2. The $12 Restaurant Boca Burger

Could have made this at home for, like, 85 cents!!!! Fries, though.

3. The Three Butternut Squash Raviolis

OMG I’m still hungryyyyyyyy.

4. When You Order The Expensive Fish Dish Without The Fish And They Still Charge You The Original $32

My man, it was like…farro and some peas?

5. The “I Picked The Pepperonis Off For You” Pizza

The eighth circle of hell is just a glistening pool of fresh pepperoni residue.

6. The Quickly Improvised Wedding Entrée

If you’re moderately lucky: a creative arrangement of mashed potatoes and veggies. If you’re not: a whole head of cauliflower drizzled with orange cheese sauce.

7. The “Gotta Cobble Together Two Sides”

*prays for hefty portions*

8. The Fast Food Make-Do


9. The Veg Option That’s Way Richer And Probably Less Healthy Than The Meat Option

Pro: It tastes DELICIOUS. Con: You will feel your bowels exploding shortly after eating.

10. The “We Made You A Full Plate Of The Steamed Vegetable Side Dish” Steakhouse Entrée

At least it’s healthy. Right?

11. Attack Of The Starches

I ended up with a plate full of tasty carbs, but it was all I had, ya know? *wink*

12. The Dry Falafel

*chips a tooth*

13. The “Well, There’s Only One Token Vegetarian Entrée So I Guess I’m Getting That”

Spoiler alert: It’s mushroom risotto.

14. The “My Dinner Is Mostly Dessert”

Commonly spotted at: Every. Single. Potluck.

15. The Bread Basket

At every wedding: “Are you gonna eat your roll?”

16. The BBQ

Pretty much.

17. The Cucumber Roll

Me at dinner: “So glad they have a vegetarian sushi option!”

Me five minutes after dinner: “I am still so hungry because I basically ate just air.”

18. The “There Wasn’t Enough For Me To Eat, So I Got Drunk Really, REALLY Fast”

Halfway through wedding dinner: *slurs* “IS THAT THE CHA CHA SLIDE????”

19. And The Purse Banana.

When all else fails and you hit the bathroom with your emergency snack stash.

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