1. The Portobello Mushroom
“I know, how about…a grilled rubber tire sandwich on the world’s hardest-to-chew bread?” —every menu creator
2. The $12 Restaurant Boca Burger
Could have made this at home for, like, 85 cents!!!! Fries, though.
4. When You Order The Expensive Fish Dish Without The Fish And They Still Charge You The Original $32
My man, it was like…farro and some peas?
7. The “Gotta Cobble Together Two Sides”
*prays for hefty portions*
9. The Veg Option That’s Way Richer And Probably Less Healthy Than The Meat Option
Pro: It tastes DELICIOUS. Con: You will feel your bowels exploding shortly after eating.
10. The “We Made You A Full Plate Of The Steamed Vegetable Side Dish” Steakhouse Entrée
At least it’s healthy. Right?
11. Attack Of The Starches
I ended up with a plate full of tasty carbs, but it was all I had, ya know? *wink*
13. The “Well, There’s Only One Token Vegetarian Entrée So I Guess I’m Getting That”
Spoiler alert: It’s mushroom risotto.
14. The “My Dinner Is Mostly Dessert”
Commonly spotted at: Every. Single. Potluck.
15. The Bread Basket
At every wedding: “Are you gonna eat your roll?”
17. The Cucumber Roll
Me at dinner: “So glad they have a vegetarian sushi option!”
Me five minutes after dinner: “I am still so hungry because I basically ate just air.”
18. The “There Wasn’t Enough For Me To Eat, So I Got Drunk Really, REALLY Fast”
Halfway through wedding dinner: *slurs* “IS THAT THE CHA CHA SLIDE????”
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