We Need To Talk About The Mannequins At Forever 21

    It's time we got to the ~bottom~ of this.

    OK, Forever 21. Pour yourself a drink and get comfy, because we really need to chat.

    It's about...your mannequins.

    Namely, the fact that a lot of your mannequins look like they're...farting.

    Why do they always look like they're launching a gigantic air biscuit???

    Or like they're crop-dusting their friends.

    I mean, someone doing this is definitely sneaking out some thunder from down under.

    Or doing the old "I'm going to squat to look at these shoes on the bottom rack, but actually release an SBD."

    No one would actually pose like this outside of a club unless they were playing the trouser trumpet.

    All those trendy fall layers just seem to be creating an acrylic Dutch oven effect.

    Seriously, what gives??

    Is this some kind of ~ON FLEEK~ trend we're too old for?

    Or did all of your mannequins hit up Taco Bell on the way in?

    Do teens dance nowadays like they're letting loose some high-velocity flatulence??

    Maybe you're just trying to be helpful, so we can see what your clothes will look like on us when WE'RE trying to do the one-cheek sneak.

    Or show us techniques for passing gas while still looking fresh to death.

    The world may never know! But at least Forever 21 is leading the fight against mannequin constipation.


    Feels good, man.