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Updated on Aug 31, 2020. Posted on Jun 29, 2016

A Ranking Of The Hottest U.S. Presidents

Thirst-trapping our great nation since 1789.

43. John Quincy Adams

commons.wikimedia.org

Bald with sideburns; probably has a Yahoo email address.

42. Chester A. Arthur

en.wikipedia.org

The fluffiest muttonchops in America.

41. Martin Van Buren

en.wikipedia.org

OMG HE'S THE DAD FROM EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND.

40. James Buchanan

en.wikipedia.org

Texts back three days later with "Sorry, just saw this!"

39. Andrew Jackson

history.com

Not hot AND ideologically problematic.

38. Thomas Jefferson

whitehouseresearch.org

Sort of hot, but problematic in every which way.

37. James Monroe

en.wikipedia.org

Still has an OkCupid account "just to take the quizzes."

36. Lyndon B. Johnson

photolab.lbjlib.utexas.edu

Teases you for how long you take to get ready but then steals your pomade.

35. George Washington

clarkart.edu

Is completely and totally honest about the fact that he's dating six other people from Tinder.

34. John Adams

whitehouseresearch.org

Makes you help powder his wig every night.

33. James Polk

millercenter.org

Definitely writes Yelp reviews in verse.

32. Benjamin Harrison

history.com

Still uses his ex-gf's dad's Netflix password.

31. Richard Nixon

en.wikipedia.org

So...oily.

30. Dwight D. Eisenhower

en.wikipedia.org

Makes you call him "Ike" in bed.

29. William Henry Harrison

metmuseum.org

Bites into string cheese instead of peeling it.

28. George H.W. Bush

en.wikipedia.org

Won't let you have any of his fries.

27. John Tyler

en.wikipedia.org

Orders pizza with pineapple and a side of ranch.

26. Zachary Taylor

en.wikipedia.org

Likes his own posts on Instagram.

25. James Madison

whitehousehistory.org

Definitely uptight, probably brags a lot about not owning a TV.

24. Andrew Johnson

en.wikipedia.org

A more ill-fated Tommy Lee Jones.

23. James Garfield

en.wikipedia.org

A more rugged Louis C.K.!!!

22. Grover Cleveland

en.wikipedia.org

Makes you call him "Grove" in public.

21. Gerald Ford

en.wikipedia.org

Eats burritos with a knife and fork.

20. George W. Bush

en.wikipedia.org

I mean, yeah. But Kim Kardashian called him a "cute little president," so.

19. William Howard Taft

neitshade5.wordpress.com

Like a big, cuddly, executive teddy bear.

18. Woodrow Wilson

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

So "sexy librarian" in those glasses.

17. Rutherford B. Hayes

en.wikipedia.org

The "B" stands for Brooklyn, judging by the beard.

16. Calvin Coolidge

en.wikipedia.org

The strong, silent type. Secretly kinky!

15. Warren G. Harding

old-picture.com

Brows on fleek since before you were born, son.

14. Franklin Delano Roosevelt

en.wikipedia.org

Super handsome; saved America.

13. Ronald Reagan

en.wikipedia.org

Actual movie star; makes you call it "bae-ganomics."

12. Millard Fillmore

en.wikipedia.org

He might look like the dad from Downton Abbey, but just try whispering the name "Millard" erotically.

11. Harry S. Truman

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

The "S" stands for SEX MACHINE.

10. Herbert Hoover

Library Of Congress

Will definitely buy you the top-shelf champagne.

9. Abraham Lincoln

Archive Photos / Getty Images

More like BABEraham Lincoln!!!!!!

8. William McKinley

millercenter.org

UNF, look at that jawline.

7. Jimmy Carter

en.wikipedia.org

Classically handsome; will make you a PB&J.

6. Teddy Roosevelt

public.navy.mil

The ORIGINAL lumbersexual.

5. Bill Clinton

4. Ulysses S. Grant

Hulton Archive / Getty Images

He can fight for my embattled piece of the United States anytime.

3. John F. Kennedy

en.wikipedia.org

DOES ANYONE EVER HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS CHOICE.

2. Franklin Pierce

freedmenspatrol.wordpress.com

Look at those cheekbones! You'd hit it. You know you would.

1. Barack Obama

en.wikipedia.org

Will buy you a shave ice, the original PILF, "slay me daddy," etc.

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