1. Now that it's winter, you've officially moved under a pile of blankets and you're not coming out.
2. Other girls have perfectly coordinated outerwear, and you're just over here like:
3. Because no one can find you under your layers of hat and earmuffs and scarf and mittens and parka and turtleneck and Uniqlo.
4. Your fantasy is taking an hour-long hot shower.
5. But first, you have to survive THIS.
6. Although you also have this problem.
7. This is your romance strategy and you are NOT ashamed.
8. Because God help anyone who comes in contact with your icy death fingers.
9. You let all your body hair grow out not because you're lazy, but for EXTRA WARMTH.
10. Then there's this problem.
11. You know Uggs aren't the most attractive shoe choice, but, bye Felicia.
12. SAME FOR BEANIES.
13. You carry enough lip balm to open your own Walgreens.
14. You constantly clutch a mug of hot tea or coffee just to keep your fingers warm.
15. You want to lead a full-on protest against over-air-conditioning.
16. And your co-workers make fun of your "cold office props," but you couldn't care less.
17. You've chosen granny panties over thongs because they shield more of your butt from the cold air.
18. You don't understand people who get excited about fall, because for you, sweater weather is every. Damn. Day.
19. Sleeping naked just will never be for you.
20. Leggings are just an extension of your naked body at this point.
21. Your cravings for warm comfort foods on constantly on PMS-worthy levels.
22. You use your hair dryer to dry your hair. And to warm up your entire body.
23. Or if not, suffer the dreaded winter wet hair freeze.
24. And after coming in from the cold, this is your own personal sauna.
25. Wearing leggings under jeans doesn't feel very good, but you do it anyway.
26. You have "special winter language."
27. And by now your family and friends have grown to love it.
28. You're always wearing your warmest coat, even if it's 45 degrees.
29. You know that somehow, this has to be men's fault. Somehow.
30. But on the bright side, there's...this.
