30 Things Girls Who Are Always Cold Understand

What we really need is a president who will ban air conditioning.

1. Now that it’s winter, you’ve officially moved under a pile of blankets and you’re not coming out.

Please forward my mail to Cozyville, My Couch. Thanks.

2. Other girls have perfectly coordinated outerwear, and you’re just over here like:

3. Because no one can find you under your layers of hat and earmuffs and scarf and mittens and parka and turtleneck and Uniqlo.

4. Your fantasy is taking an hour-long hot shower.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, the feeling of scalding water.

5. But first, you have to survive THIS.

6. Although you also have this problem.

7. This is your romance strategy and you are NOT ashamed.

8. Because God help anyone who comes in contact with your icy death fingers.

PLEASE LET ME WARM THEM UP ON YOU. PLEASE.

9. You let all your body hair grow out not because you’re lazy, but for EXTRA WARMTH.

10. Then there’s this problem.

11. You know Uggs aren’t the most attractive shoe choice, but, bye Felicia.

They’re so warm and soft. So, so warm and soft.

12. SAME FOR BEANIES.

13. You carry enough lip balm to open your own Walgreens.

But anything beats chapped, cold lips.

14. You constantly clutch a mug of hot tea or coffee just to keep your fingers warm.

IT’S TOO COLD TO TYPE.

15. You want to lead a full-on protest against over-air-conditioning.

Why are stores so cold? Why is everything so cold??

16. And your co-workers make fun of your “cold office props,” but you couldn’t care less.

If I need fingerless gloves to type, I’ll wear them!

17. You’ve chosen granny panties over thongs because they shield more of your butt from the cold air.

Two bare cheeks against denim do not a happy you make.

18. You don’t understand people who get excited about fall, because for you, sweater weather is every. Damn. Day.

19. Sleeping naked just will never be for you.

Sorry, significant others.

20. Leggings are just an extension of your naked body at this point.

FROM NOVEMBER TO MARCH YOU ARE A NEVER NUDE.

21. Your cravings for warm comfort foods on constantly on PMS-worthy levels.

*dives into huge vat of hot mac ‘n’ cheese*

22. You use your hair dryer to dry your hair. And to warm up your entire body.

23. Or if not, suffer the dreaded winter wet hair freeze.

24. And after coming in from the cold, this is your own personal sauna.

25. Wearing leggings under jeans doesn’t feel very good, but you do it anyway.

26. You have “special winter language.”

27. And by now your family and friends have grown to love it.

28. You’re always wearing your warmest coat, even if it’s 45 degrees.

29. You know that somehow, this has to be men’s fault. Somehow.

30. But on the bright side, there’s…this.

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