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We Asked Non-San Franciscans To React To SF Things, And It's Good

"Gourmet water. $14 a glass."

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We sent 13 uncaptioned photos that sum up San Francisco to BuzzFeed offices around the world and asked them to write down the first thing that came into their heads. This is what they said:

1. Folsom Street Fair

Flickr: 8872709@N08

"What is this event?"

Maritsa (NY): Tobias Fünke's birthday party.

Alex (LA): Folsom Street Fair. Right? Or just a random brunch.

Adam (NY): Just a couple friends wearing leather, having a good time.

Jenna (NY): A good time!

Sarah A. (LA): A typical Tuesday?

2. Fernet

Flickr: 90759081@N00

"What does this beverage taste like?"

Jenna (NY): The salty San Francisco bay.

Andre (India): More bitter than I can handle.

Conz (NY): HEAVEN, obviously. It is the best drink ever because it's Argentine.

Sarah A.: It looks like a root beer float?

Sarah B. (NY): It's a vodka but it tastes like red wine.

Jess (NY): If they're mixing it with Coke, probably something like high-proof herbal dirt.

3. The Apothecarium

yelp.com

"What does this store sell?"

Alex: Goth stuff, I hope.

Maritsa: Fancy vitamins?

Jenna: A variety of poison.

Charlotte (LA): My Hogwarts supplies, aww yiss.

Jess: Gay shame? Medical marijuana? Artisanal Tylenol? Or wait, it's a trick question and it's a music venue.

4. Bush Man

photo.net

"What is this man doing?"

Jenna: Definitely pooping.

Sarah A.: Hiding from his ex.

Adam: He is a shrubbery artist. This is his latest work.


Conz:
He scares you. I've seen way too many YouTube videos of him.

Sarah B.: What man? I just see a bush enjoying a Starbucks latte and a loaf of bread.

5. Lombard Street

en.wikipedia.org

Alex: My feet hurt looking at this.

Jenna: Why not just take another street?

Conz: Anxiety.

Jess: Nauseous. Also, why are all the cars white?

Charlotte: Angry. How is there not a lane running straight down the middle from drivers that have been pushed too far?

Maritsa: Mini golf???

Adam: Overwhelmed, tbh. This hill is an ~iconic~ image of the city and I've always been stressed about how many curves there are in that street.

Sarah B.: ROLLER COASTER FOR CARS.

6. The Mill

Jess Misener / BuzzFeed

"What are these people waiting in line for?"

Alex: Death's inevitable embrace.

Conz: Brunch probably, but like brunch at 6am because that's when SFers brunch.

Charlotte: Gourmet water. $14 a glass.

Maritsa: Fancy coffee?

Sarah A.: Fancy juice?

Jess: TOAST. RIGHT?? It has to be toast. Or else maybe jobs.

8. Dolores Park Weed Truffle Man

yelp.com

"What is this man selling?"

Sarah B.: Melting pots for cheese.

Andre: Looks like tiny umbrellas?

Charlotte: It look like incense... please don't tell me they're smoking that.

Jess: Picnic urns.

Conz: Little pots to cast spells.

Adam: A lifestyle.

9. The Armory

armorystudios.com

"What is this building used for?"

Jess: Indoor trampoline parties.

Andre: Housing? Movie set? Postal company?

Sarah B.: PRISON.

Charlotte: Bus terminal, maybe.

Conz: Is it a school?

Jenna: PORN SHOOTS. (I don't know SF well but I am well-acquainted with porno.)

Adam: Porn. Lots and lots of porn.

10. Sutro Tower in the fog

yelp.com

"What is this scene?"

Charlotte: Photoshop, I hope.

Alex: A ghost boat floating in the sky.

Sarah A: Unused footage from the last Pirates of the Caribbean.

Jess: The opening titles for Fuller House.

Andre: Captain Hook sailing back to Neverland.

Maritsa: A small clipper ship ascending to the heavens.

Sarah B: SKY SHIPS, WERE MEANT TO FLY! HANDS UP AND TOUCH THE SKY!

11. AT&T Park Seagulls

youtube.com

"What do you think about this scene?"

Alex: :(

Jenna: Very Hitchcockian.

Charlotte: Burn. Everything.

Sarah A.: It's obviously a seagull family reunion.

Maritsa: ALFRED HITCHCOCK.

Andre: The early signs of the apocalypse.

Sarah B.: BIRDEMIC.

12. Haight-Ashbury Legs

yelp.com

"What is this?"

Jess: Probably a church.

Charlotte: A Christmas Story 6: Revenge of The Lamp.

Sarah B: Giant legs advertising a bordello.

Andre: The end of a good night.

Jenna: Something that was cool in the '90s and is no longer cool, sort of like San Francisco itself.

Conz: Really big legs. Why they are there I have no idea.

13. Robot Dance Party

robotdanceparty.org

"What's happening here?"

Alex: I think this is sex.

Jenna: Something sexual.

Maritsa: I, Robot by Isaac Asimov.

Sarah A: A real robot showing these mere mortals how to correctly execute "The Robot" dance move.

Andre: A robot, with serious game, is chilling with some party people.

Jess: Google beta testing.

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