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    Listen, Teens, We Totally Had Slime First

    It's time for a very important history lesson.

    Attention, youths of America! *taps mic*

    We know your Instagram slime videos are all the rage right now.

    And you think all this sticky stuff on social media is like, so new and cool.

    But I don't know if you're aware of this. Slime was kind of .... OUR thing.

    We had this channel in the '90s called Nickelodeon, and it pretty much put slime on the map.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    That's right, we didn't just look at cute slime videos on our phone while we were pooping. People back then got slime DUMPED on them. We wore our slime, and we liked it.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    But just like you, we also had our own version of toy slime. It was called Gak, and it was glorious.

    We even had these sick-ass machines to INFLATE our slime.

    youtube.com

    Like a giant bubble of gum that stuck to all your clothes and hair without mercy.

    Or... suction up the slime and spit it out? I mean, whatever, it was fun.

    You think your slime with little foam Dippin' Dots in it is "on fleek"?

    Wispy Slimes / Via instagram.com

    Yeah, we had that, and it was called FLOAM.

    You have this sticky rainbow goo.

    We had this stuff called Smud.

    We didn't have Instagram, but we did have slime that smelled like pizza and popcorn, soooooo....

    It's not like millennials invented slime, either. Kids in the '60s had Silly Putty.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11oNoRkDSyw

    And the '70s had the ~original~ Mattel Slime.

    So, not that your slime isn't, OK, actually kind of beautiful...

    But respect your elders in slime. Sincerely, your old fogies.

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