1.
Gross fact: Taco Bell burritos contain less than 10% real bell
2.
3 cars back at the Burger King drive thru gives you a devastating amount of time to consider your missteps.
3.
ok sir guacamole is gonna be an extra $1.80 plus the rights to sacrifice your soul to the dark lord satan thank u for choosing chipotle
4.
McDonalds sponsoring the Olympics is like the Kardashians sponsoring a job fair.
5.
Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, "To my sandwich!"
6.
Modern fast food has a "fuck you" attitude that I relate to on a deeply personal level.
7.
McDonald's should start gearing ads toward their target audience: husky toddlers and seagulls.
8.
[slides briefcase of money across the counter] "two big macs please" [opens briefcase to reveal $7]
9.
I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
10.
Burger King's full name was Burger Luther King Jr.
11.
How long do you have to work at KFC before they make you a colonel?
12.
[At Neiman Marcus] *looks at sales clerk* *holds up a Prada and a Burberry briefcase* I don't know…which one will hold more chicken nuggets?
13.
Ordering at Chipotle: "With white rice." "Brown?" "No, white. And chicken." "Steak?" "No, chicken. And medium salsa." "Mild?" "No, medium."
14.
How kids these days skipping the McDonald's stage and going straight to Starbucks? HOW? What kind of chores did'ya do to get this money lol
15.
I don't understand why subway has to train their employees. We do that for them everytime we order & tell them EXACTLY how to make a sub.
16.
McDonald's should have an express drive thru lane just for people who need french fries.
17.
I'd try Taco Bell's breakfast but I don't start drinking that early.
18.
I had a second stomach surgically attached so I could finish my fries from Five Guys.
19.
There are few moments sadder than when they ask at the fast food drive-thru if you want to try the new featured item and you do.
20.
I just had an AMAZING salad at McDonalds. The toppings I chose were 4 big macs & 10 chicken mc nuggets with 9 sweet & sour packs as dressing
21.
My autobiography would just be a really long Taco Bell receipt.
22.
Nothing more American than getting on an airport's "moving walkway" and standing still as it slowly carries you to a Cinnabon.
23.
I want to hire a Chipotle employee to tuck me in at night.
24.
It's sad going to McDonald's and finding out that a meal is happier than you.
25.
I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font.
26.
i dropped a chicken mcnugget and I've been on the floor of mcdonalds sobbing the lyrics to how to save a life by the fray for 2 hours
27.
If the police really wanted DUI checkpoints to be effective, they’d set them up inside Taco Bell drive-thrus.
28.
The toy inside my McDonald's Apathy Meal is just a lump of gray plastic and an instruction sheet that says "Whatever. This job sucks."
29.
crazy to think that back in the 1940s, extra guacamole at chipotle only cost a nickel
30.
Taco Bell is human Drano
31.
just when you think life is going okay, you get the new guy at Subway