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35 Things Most New Yorkers Do

"Ugh, I hate the High Line."

1. Bitch about Time Warner.

2. Talk about how disgusting the Hudson is.

3. Ask people at parties how much their rent is.

4. Complain about brunch incessantly, but then still go to brunch.

5. Have unabashed crushes on Pat Kiernan.

6. Look up real estate in your hometown, and get bummed when you realize you could buy a castle with a moat for what you pay in rent here.

7. Curse a lot.

8. Pretend like crazy stuff isn't happening while it's happening.

9. Get irrationally angry every time it rains.

10. Eat at food trucks, mostly because they're everywhere.

11. Avoid eye contact at all costs.

12. Talk about how you can't wait for winter during the summer...

13. ...and then how you wish it were summer in the winter.

14. Stop and look at real estate ads in windows.

15. Go to after-work happy hour on an empty stomach, then wolf three slices of pizza at 9:30 p.m.

16. Wear earbuds everywhere.

17. Secretly fear that this guy is going to kick you in the face.

18. Take creepshots of people on the subway.

19. Gawk at the cheap food/alcohol prices when you're traveling out of state.

20. Make fun of Williamsburg, especially if you live in Williamsburg.

21. Make fun of NYU, ESPECIALLY if you went to NYU.

22. Eat bagels as drunk food.

23. Get into fights about whether the High Line is overrated.

24. Live in constant and paralyzing fear of bedbugs.

25. Gripe about the G train.

26. Curse the lack of central AC in your apartment building.

27. Ignore every flyer or free newspaper that's waved in your face.

28. Look up at night to see what color the Empire State Building is.

29. Tan in Central Park during the summer.

30. Ignore the clipboard people.

31. Occasionally take an expensive cab ride home.

32. Get mad at movie sets for blocking your way to work/home.

33. Burn out on street fairs, because it's all the same $5 pashminas and roasted corn.

34. Instagram every rooftop view.

35. Ride over a bridge on the subway or in a cab, look at the skyline, and remember why you live here in the first place.