1. His voice, which gets its trademark nasality from flawless sinuses hand-sculpted by God.
2. He says things like this:
Frederick M. Brown / Getty Images
3. And this:
4. And this:
5. He's the first cousin (once removed) of awesome composer Phillip Glass.
6. This is his pitbull, Piney, whom he and his wife rescued.
Seriously, just look at how adorable this is.
7. He leads award-winning radio segments...
8. ...but he admits when he's wrong.
9. He's even so amazing that people have to send their family members these greeting cards.
10. He hangs out with cool people, like Joss Whedon.
Michael Buckner / Getty Images
11. And Tavi Gevinson.
12. And Tom Hanks.
Michael Buckner / Getty Images
13. Sometimes, if you go to Brooklyn, he dances.
14. Fred Armisen did a spot-on impersonation of him.
15. He majored in semiotics (at Brown), which is a field full of pure badasses.
Michael Shearer / Getty Images
16. He was adorable even in high school.
17. AND in the '90s:
18. Sometimes he goes to the movies and eats popcorn, just like us.
19. He hates public radio pledge drives just as much as you do.
Michael Buckner / Getty Images
"The pledge drive has everything going against it as broadcasting. It's repetitive. It's ad-libbed by people who can't ad-lib. It's about asking for money, which is something nobody wants to hear, even from their own relatives. From the moment you open your mouth, people know where you're going with it. As broadcasting, it's the biggest challenge, and it's the hardest thing to make interesting, because it can't be made interesting."
20. He makes animal balloons but he's not a creepy clown. No, he's not.
21. In conclusion, you WISH you were this microphone. Sigh.
