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8 Perfect Ways To Be A Professional Flake

Any Joe-Schmo can RSVP “no”, but only a professional can stay in their friends’ good graces and keep future options open while straight-up bailing. Here are 8 tried and true ways to flake, avoid FOMO, and always set yourself up for the best plans.

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1. Start laying the ground work for your flake days ahead of time

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No one can hold work/sickness/break ups against you. Milk it.

2. Take a long time to respond to group texts

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10 out of 9 times it'll fall through anyway. Win. Win.

3. Make almost plans with multiple people

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Don’t fully confirm until you have the plans you want, then ghost.

4. Always, always, always use your children/pets/partner as an excuse

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They are freeloaders and owe you at least this one.

5. Flake outside of the group text with the organizer

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Two birds, one stone: avoid group backlash + seem conscientious.

6. Preempt a friend’s confirmation with “Are we still doing this?”

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A subconscious tactic that lets them know you really aren’t interested.

7. Purposely look bad

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So that you have no option but to bail.

8. Have your Pjs and Netflix ready

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Cause you never had any intention of going anyway.

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