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An Open Letter To The "Almost Boyfriends"

Because we've all had them...

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An open letter to the "almost boyfriends":In the last year, I've had three what I call "almost boyfriends". One of them hurt my heart, the rest just distracted me from doing great things.Almost Boyfriend: (noun) male that reaps the emotional and physical benefits of the boyfriend title without the commitment; may or may not be fueled by genuine feelings; in some situations the almost boyfriend could be translated as "friends with benefits".

Dear ABs,

Time has passed and none of us are in committed relationships. I think I hold the right to say, "it wasn't me". I wasn't too clingy, I wasn't too "fat", I wasn't too career minded, or whatever self evaluation we give ourselves when someone "randomly" disappears.

I get causal. I get "taking it slow". I'm the QUEEN of those things. But I'm not okay with standing in the door way. Seeing each other 6 days a week for a month, then disappearing. Then texting me to come over. Then we're on for another few weeks. Then off. And this is the cycle of AB's.

I will never be the one to beg you out of the doorway and into my life. I'm not the girl who chases guys. I'm not the one to question people when they disappear. It's your life. Plus, we're not "committed", so why should it matter? I wouldn't want to act like I actually have feelings would I? (hello?)

I have too much to accomplish, too much good to strive for, too much growing to do, to allow people to play with my feelings. It takes a LOT for me to even have feelings. Maybe that didn't help. Maybe you needed some sort of fifteen year-old infatuation from me? Whether it's fear of commitment, difference in feelings but not being honest about it, whatever. It's caused me to have even less feelings towards "romance". Plus two words: Trust. Issues.

I'm sorry if me not saying anything made you feel like it was ok to disappear. I apologize for not "DTR"ing. Maybe I didn't want to know. You treated me like I was a part of your life, so I didn't want to assume otherwise. But my conclusion stands, that if a guy wants to date you exclusively, he will.

There is no in between.

xoxo

Jessica Frech

@jessicafrech

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