I'm less than two years shy of officially hitting my late thirties, and I was curious about how other people my age or older have felt about aging.
I posed the question to the BuzzFeed Community, and here are some of the responses I got:
1. "I know, fully and completely, who I am and what I want: in my relationships, in my career, and in my life. I communicate my needs openly and know my worth. It took me a long time to accumulate the confidence I have now, and know I bring so much more to the table than just my looks. As someone who has always been self-conscious about my appearance, this turning point was incredibly valuable to living a better, happier life."
"...but damn I do NOT love how taking a simple fall has me laid up in bed for three days after now! >.<"
2. "I have finally become comfortable with taking up space in the world. I’m learning how to set reasonable boundaries and find the courage to speak up when someone violates them. I find a lot of joy and immediate self-worth from the realization that my feelings are valid, and that I don’t have a moral obligation to erase myself so other people are more comfortable. All that said, it’s still a learning process! And I look forward to getting better and better at being my own friend."
3. "There are WAY fewer men creeping on me. Being left the hell alone is awesome."
"The invisibility can be powerful!"
4. "Perspective. You see and understand things differently over time, and your perspective continually shifts with age. I appreciate the perspective more than anything else. The rest of aging mostly sucks."
5. "You're experienced enough to know how to predict the little situations in life and plan accordingly. Here's a dumb little example: I went back to school at 36, and my classmates are all about 25. They thought that 10 of us could just...go to a restaurant at 8 p.m. on a Friday. I asked if anyone had made a reservation. The thought hadn't even occurred to them. I said, 'Yeah, this isn't happening,' and went home. It took them two hours to find a place."
6. "Realizing that no one matters other than those utterly dear to you. That love and positive energy is what you need to be happy, that 'family' doesn’t mean you have to love them or even contact them. That in the end, you’re on your own."
7. "At 38, I love nothing more than my routine and sticking to it. I rarely, if ever, just up and go to a party where I don't know people or the location, and I'm not as impulsive as I used to be. I like waking up, walking my dog, coming home to coffee, working, finishing my day, everything in its place. It's weirdly comforting to me to know that mostly every day will be more or less the same, no surprises, no twists and turns, just being. Of course, if I get the urge to up and do something, I can, but it's in my control. You can spend your youth following, but spend your adult years leading your OWN life. You don't have to impress, you don't have to try harder, you can just BE. And it's lovely."
8. "The older you get, the better you are at curating your life — particularly when it comes to the people you hang out with, and how you choose to spend your time (both in and out of work). You are less likely to spend time with only so-so people, because free time is limited — so why waste it? Most people also eventually figure out what they want to do work-wise, as well as what they want to do outside of work (whether that is travel, hobbies, sports, etc.)."
"I feel like I spent so much time on bad jobs and bad friends when I was younger, so it's hard to see my younger friends still trying to figure that stuff out. I'm in my 50s now, and I truly feel like the older I get, the happier I am."
9. "I don't feel the need to cater to social demands anymore. I don't want to spend my Saturday night doing shots. I've got books on poisonous plants to read, candles, and a cozy bed. Old lady life bliss."
10. "I've grown up and out of my own bs. My life is significantly easier now that past me hasn't made decisions that future me will have to spend 10 years fixing. It's nice to have stuff out of your system and be settled. What the elders said is true — time goes MUCH faster when you're older, so treat it as such."
11. "Buying shoes for comfort, not for fashion. Rocking silvery hair. Getting my gardening on without feeling like an old lady. No longer finding the quirky Trader Joe's cashiers annoying. Giving zero fucks."
12. "Security from property ownership — I was so sick of moving all the time paying twice as much in rent as I do now."
13. "The lack of uncertainty. It's not all fun, and I'm very, very tired lol, but all the questions of my 20s — Will I get into grad school? What city will I live in? What job will I get? — have been answered, and I'm now living the life that I hustled for."
14. "I can look back at painful situations from the past and see what the other people involved might have been going through at the time, and this gives me a new perspective and helps me to understand and love those people more. I can also forgive myself for foolish things I did when I was younger, and I don't feel a need to change myself for anyone which is a very freeing feeling. I've realized more and more as I've gotten older that I'm just fine the way I am, imperfect though that is."
15. "I'm almost 43, and I love being more confident and caring less about what people think about me. And more and more I'm accepting that the best of my good-looking days are behind me. I do skincare, exercise, wear sunscreen, the whole jazz. I try to look nice. But there are days I see a middle-aged woman in the mirror. And I'm getting more and more okay with that. It's rather a blessing to feel less and less as if I have to cater to the male gaze. My looks really took a huge hit during COVID because I was so unbelievably stressed and dealing with a lot of health issues, and honestly, there were definite perks to feeling invisible in public."
16. "I stopped caring what anyone else thought of me and really felt confident doing my own thing. Most of my family lamented that my lifestyle didn’t include settling down/marriage/kids and would tell me as much at every single family gathering, every time they talked to me. It gets old. Instead of arguing with them about how what they want is not what I want, I just walk away. I’ve even left gatherings — especially the 'intervention' where they invited some dorky single guys for me to meet. What a joke."
—JJ
17. "I'm 56, and I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of me, what I do, what I wear, how I look. I wish I felt this way at 17."
18. "I'm 35. I've pretty much stopped giving a shit about what people think of me superficially. I don't drive myself crazy trying to stay caught up on fashion or the latest shows or movies or celebrity gossip. I try to be a good person, and other than that, I do whatever I want. There are 8 billion people in the world, and not all of them are going to like me. I'm not going to stress over not being loved by people who don't really matter in my life. Life is too short to try to live my life by other people's should's. Who cares. Let's get weird."
And finally, to sum it all up...
19. "Simply, giving less fucks."
