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Rainbow Food Is Literally Garbage

A colorful, glittering pile of (semi) edible garbage.

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Rainbow foods have taken over...AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSDVbD5lnDo/?taken-by=mel_hollywood
www.buzzfeed.com

You might have noticed the rainbow food trend taking your Instagram feed by storm. Foodies are posting pictures of their technicolored foods at an alarming rate. It seems that every day a new rainbow creation is debuted.

Why am I against such a magical and lighthearted trend, you might ask?

instagram.com / Via instagram.com

Those are burgers, people. Rainbow BURGERS.

Because rainbow food is COMPLETE and TOTAL GARBAGE.

Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed
Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed

Foul, self-indulgent garbage fit for a Brooklyn garbage can.

HOW DID WE LET THIS HAPPEN, PEOPLE?

The rainbow creations have ranged from crass, colorful cupcakes...

Sweet, innocent cupcakes...
themeenakshipatel / Via instagram.com

Sweet, innocent cupcakes...

...to FUCKING FOUL abominations of bagels. How can something this HORRIFIC be called a bagel?

Why so many sprinkles? Why so many colors? Bagels are a browned, delicious tradition passed down for generations. They are NOT a dense, overworked, phosphorescent ring of disappointment.
thebagelstore / Via instagram.com

Why so many sprinkles? Why so many colors? Bagels are a browned, delicious tradition passed down for generations. They are NOT a dense, overworked, phosphorescent ring of disappointment.

The rainbow started to show up in the most unholy of places, proving the trend had NO boundaries...

instagram.com

Food should have to TASTE GOOD, not be a 1,001 colors and glitter shades! This is a grilled cheese, BTW.

The trend has even destroyed the sanctity of burger- and hotdog-dom.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNZHmSvgQxr/
https://memegenerator.net

I could no longer tell if my meat was tainted or painted.

Why does a meal have to be a party?

instagram.com

We seemed to forget that high concentrations of food coloring adds a distinctively DISGUSTING flavor to anything it touches.

WHY did we let these melted monstrosities happen?

instagram.com / Via instagram.com

These colors are nature's warning that poison is present. LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS, PEOPLE.

It's time the colorful catastrophe came to an end.

Instagram: @bentodevalerie

This unorthodox unicorn roll has broken the sacred bond of what sushi should be. RAINBOW SPRINKLES AND CRAB DO NOT MIX, PEOPLE. Jiro would NOT be proud!

And in case you're wondering, YES I'VE TRIED THIS TREND.

The worst thing you could do to a milkshake is deck it out with literally all your least favorite childhood candies. I was not excited to taste...
Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed

The worst thing you could do to a milkshake is deck it out with literally all your least favorite childhood candies. I was not excited to taste...

And the outcome prooved unsurprising...

Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed
Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed

Throat-scratching glitter, sprinkles, and rock sugar gave the inside of my mouth an unwanted microdermabrasion.

If unicorn food is your thing, then by all means chow down on your multicolored pizza.

instagram.com / Via instagram.com

Let that neon purple cheese melt it's way right into your heart.

But please, keep me away from this colorful hipster bullshit.

instagram.com / Via instagram.com

Because I'm eating for flavor, NOT for the 'gram.

  1. What do you think of the unicorn food trend?

    What do you think of the unicorn food trend?
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    I love it!  Bring on the magic!
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    I hate it.  Get that shit outta here!
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