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    May 2, 2017

    16 Stages Every Restaurant Worker Goes Through During A Lunch Rush

    Iced water for everyone!

    1. It's 11:00 am, your shift just started, and you hope and pray that this lunch rush doesn't kill you.

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    You remain hopeful.

    2. As you complete your side work, you begin to accept the looming reality of the dreaded two-hour period.

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    You brace yourself...

    3. And just like that, it begins.

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    The floodgates open, your double espresso kicks in, and customers start demanding iced teas and Diet Cokes at an alarming rate.

    4. The tickets start printing, and printing, and printing...

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    You hear the *tchk-tchk-tchk-tchk* in your sleep.

    5. You get double sat. Wait, triple sat. No, QUADRUPLE fucking sat.

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    "We're good with just iced water, thanks."

    6. One of your tables orders apps, entrees, and drinks, then proceeds to tell you they are "in a bit of a rush."

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    Let me go pretend to tell them real quick...

    7. You accept it: you are officially IN. THE. LUNCH. RUSH.

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    You got this. You can do it. Today is the day you will work a whole lunch rush without threatening to kill anyone.

    8. Your manager notices you slipping deeper into the weeds and asks if you are OK.

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    "I'm fine!" <- Me, balancing four plates, a pitcher of iced tea, two checks, and deciding if today is the day I should quit or not.

    9. You yell "MOVE IT" shoving your coworker aside as you trample to the dish station.

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    *apologizes post-lunch rush*

    10. You overhear your coworker asking to take his break during the peak of the rush.

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    "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, KEVIN?"

    11. It's 1:45 pm. Lunch begins to die down and you wonder if it's safe to pee yet.

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    Maybe, just maybe, I can even sit down for a second (CRAZY, I KNOW).

    12. And just when you think it's over, THE SECOND RUSH BEGINS.

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    Yep, the SECOND. FUCKING. RUSH. Ever heard of it? It's for FUCKING MONSTERS who eat lunch at 2:00 PM.

    13. Only this time around the kitchen is trashed, three items are 86'ed, and half of your coworkers have gone on break already.

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    Oh, you want to modify your burger 100 different ways now?

    NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

    14. But you make it through. You survive the unexpected second rush.

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    You are glistening (sweat? fryer oil?), triumphant, and ready to scarf down a burger while standing over a garbage can.

    15. You officially have time to sit down.

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    *chugs a quart container full of water*

    16. And just like that, the lunch rush is over.

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    Time to count your tips and start all over again tomorrow!