If you haven't heard, Donald Trump released a letter from his doctor on a very...episode of Dr. Oz today.
The note specifically mentions the date of July 10, 2013 — the date of his last colonoscopy.
So since the world is ending anyway, here’s everything he tweeted that day.
8:21 a.m.: Prepares for his own colonoscopy by ripping Eliot Spitzer a new asshole.
Eliot Spitzer was a horrible Governor and A.G. who ruined many good people and cost the Country billions of dollars in losses (and jobs).
8:38 a.m.: Talks about a lousy businessman who owes all he has to his rich father (still talking about Spitzer here).
Spitzer never made 10 cents on his own-he worked for his very rich father (a friend of mine who never thought much of Eliot as a businessman
8:39 a.m.: Manually retweeted praise from a fan — but come on, we all do that.
"@888maggie888: @realDonaldTrump @FKTrey Reading The Donald Tweets and wise words are essential to my morning routine. #Greatest" Thanks M.
9:13 a.m.: Back at it with the criticizing Spitzer, and now he’s dragging Anthony Weiner into it.
With the two wacko perverts--Spitzer and Weiner--NYC politics has become a joke all over the world.
11:11 a.m.: He met this woman.
"@JoselynMartinez: It was great to meet NYC icons @realDonaldTrump and @IvankaTrump today! #nyc " Great meeting you!
12:07 p.m.: Vancouver finally has a "pool bar nightclub"!
Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver will include Vancouver’s first pool bar nightclub & Trump Spa http://t.co/82lbwXpKed
12:44 p.m.: Now he's getting amped for a press conference he's going to do with comedian Adam Carolla.
Looking forward to a press conference today about @adamcarolla on @fundanything movie project #roadhard http://t.co/jjfNhkjSEM
1:38 p.m.: Sends props to Elisabeth Hasselbeck for her move from ABC's The View to join the team at Fox & Friends.
Great news that @ehasselbeck will be joining @foxandfriends. Elisabeth is a tremendous person and will be missed on @theviewtv.
2:09 p.m.: More Fox News props, this time to Gretchen Carlson on getting her own show! Go Gretchen! Just kidding, run. Run as fast as you can.
Congratulations to Gretchen Carlson on her big move to hosting an afternoon solo show this fall on @FoxNews.
2:33 p.m.: He met that woman.
.@JoselynMartinez is a very brave woman who caught her father's killer http://t.co/L2slCWA5cO She visited Ivanka & me at Trump Tower today.
2:40 p.m.: Tweets an article explaining that an award Hillary Clinton is receiving should instead go to Donald Trump, thus starting the chain of events that will lead to the end of human civilization.
Must read @AmSpec article by Jeffrey Lord: “The Ruling Class Liberty Medal” http://t.co/Xop9FeSMKc
3:21 p.m.: Speaking of history.
Interesting…the last time a Democrat succeeded a two-term Democratic pres. was in 1836 when Martin Van Buren succeeded Andrew Jackson.
3:23 p.m.: Wouldn't surprise me if this was meant to be a sext.
Getting rid of the mortgage interest deduction would be a disaster for homeowners, who have suffered enough!
3:27 p.m.: RIP Obamacare.
Just as I predicted, ObamaCare is a complete disaster which is failing on its own. May never be fully implemented.
3:45 p.m.: Seems to be thinking an awful lot about health care tod— oh right...
Why should ObamaCare be delayed for businesses and not working families? With premiums rising at record levels, it is not equitable.
3:56 p.m.: More history!
“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.” - Dwight D. Eisenhower
4:34 p.m.: Don't let Joseph Gordon-Levitt see this.
Lying traitor Snowden now claims that he did not give any information to the Russians or Chinese. Why doesn’t he come home then?
4:46 p.m.: For those who are too young, in 2013 New York legally mandated tweeting about Derek Jeter once a day.
Derek Jeter’s rehab assignment is progressing on schedule. He's a true @Yankees captain. Look forward to seeing him back on the field
4:52 p.m.: "—Donald Trump"
Do not view any failure as the end. Learn your lessons quickly, then move on. Do not dwell on failure. Start thinking big again.