21 Movie Quotes I Had Always Misheard Until I Used Closed Captions

Now that I'm seeing the subtitles, it makes a lot more sense.

Who isn't guilty of mishearing what someone says? Well, it happens to me quite a bit when I watch movies, even movies I love.

Nickelodeon

Here's just a few I misheard when I was a young lad...some of which I didn't even notice until I was older:

1. I can't hear Jasmine's singing over the high-speed carpet ride. Whoa, slow down, Aladdin!

Disney

I always thought the lyric during Aladdin's "A Whole New World" was: "Every turn a surprise, every moment gets better."

Apparently, it is "red-letter," as in memorable, not gets better. My bad.

2. You're a wizard, Gandalf! But I don't know what you're saying.

New Line Cinema

In Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, Bilbo asks Gandalf if he'll keep an eye on Frodo. I thought he replied: "Two eyes. As long as I can spell." I assumed it was a wizard thing, but he actually says: "As often as I can spare them."

3. I just couldn't comprehend Gandalf's lingo that never really existed anywhere but in my own mind.

New Line Cinema

In Fellowship of the Ring, the infamous line "Fly, you fools" was one I heard incorrectly. I heard: "Folly, you fools." I thought it was another weird wizard expression.

It is obvious to adult me that he says, "Fly, you fools."

4. Me pirate lingo is out of control!

Disney

In the first Pirates of the Caribbean film, Curse of the Black Pearl, Mr. Gibbs asks Captain Jack Sparrow, "What's in your head that's put you in such a fine mood, Captain?" I thought he responded, "Me catchin' up."

He's a pirate; I thought it be hardy mere pirate slang, argh. Well, the actual line is "We're catching up." I only learned about a year ago thanks to closed captions and being made fun of by my family.

5. It felt like everyone back in the day spoke in a higher pitch, and the struggle was real for me growing up and trying to decipher old movies like The Wizard of Oz.

Loews Cineplex Entertainment

"I'm all to blame for the bite on my leg." Weird to blame yourself, I thought as a kid. Maybe that's just an old expression or something.

The real quote is, "I'm all but lame from the bite on my leg." Curses, Miss Gulch!

6. I watched Star Wars so much as a kid that my knowledge leaked over into other films.

Sony Pictures Releasing

In Spider-Man, I thought the Green Goblin kept saying, "Bacta formula," as in the kind of formula he is using. In Star Wars, they used bacta tanks, so in my head, I thought it made perfect scientific sense. "I'm quite the scientist myself."

He says, "Back to formula," which, you know, I'm sure everyone (but me) knew.

7. I still don't fully catch this one in The Dark Knight at first listen without closed captions.

Warner Bros.

In The Dark Knight, James Gordon retorts a snide remark from Harvey Dent by saying...something. He sort of mumbles it, and I never knew what he said as a kid.

The line is: "If I didn’t work with cops, you'd investigated while you were making your name at I. A. — I'd be working alone."

Good line, but I blame the mustache.

8. Watching Hamilton for the first time made me realize I had a lot of lines wrong.

Disney+

Hamilton's debut on Disney+ (yes, I'm counting it as a movie for this list) meant finally seeing the performance in a new light...and man, did I mishear some of the lyrics. I truly thought, during "My Shot," Hercules Mulligan said: "And I got John Knuckleheads as a local apprentice."

Real quote: "And I got ya'll knuckleheads in loco parentis." Which, you know, makes a lot more sense than John Laurens being his "local apprentice," whatever that is.

9. I don't blame Leslie Odom, that talented, talented man; I blame myself on this one.

Disney+

So on initial viewing, I thought Alexander Hamilton came to the States by "taking a book collection to send him to the mainland." The real line is "took up a collection," although I wonder if my book collection could help me travel.

10. I somehow got this line right and wrong at the same time.

Warner Bros.

I hadn't watched Inception a bunch, but recently I realized I totally misheard Tom Hardy. I was close on this one, though, since the actual line is: "Don't know. See if they start shooting." Because I originally heard: "Don't worry; see if he starts shooting."

11. I'm starting to think I wasn't the smartest kid.

Disney

As a kid, I thought Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story said: "You are a sad and strange little man. And you have my penny."

I quickly learned, still as a child, that I misheard him and he said: "And you have my pity."

12. I actually understand most of what Andre the Giant says in The Princess Bride, but this one line always stumped me.

20th Century Fox

In The Princess Bride, Fezzik responds to his size advantage, but I always thought he said: "A fighter isn't the biggest and the strongest...no matter what the size."

The actual line makes a lot more sense: "It's not my fault being the biggest and the strongest. I don't even exercise."

13. People are harder to understand when they're angry.

Universal Pictures

When I was a kid watching The Mummy, I believed the line to be: "Straighten up this, Miss (inaudible)." I thought it was like "Evina" or "Anav," but whatever it was, it was Evelyn's last name.

He actually uses the word: "MESHIVER," which I can only assume means "mess."

14. Maybe I just misheard half of The Mummy.

Universal Pictures

The same movie and the same setting. Jonathan reveals a very integral detail about Hamunaptra. The real quote is: "The entire necropolis was rigged to sink in the sand."

This was a pretty important plot point that just had swift wings and flew over my head, because he wasn't talking about crops or rings.

15. The Matrix has some great dialogue, and I always thought this was just an acting choice.

Warner Bros.

When Agent Smith is interrogating Morpheus and reveals his motives, he has an excellent way to describe the Matrix. I thought he said, "This oooh...this prison," but he clearly says, "This zoo. This prison."

This one was hilarious to me because I thought he just couldn't find the right word to describe the Matrix.

16. As a kid, I always wondered why grains never had a bigger role in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.

Warner Bros.

When introducing himself to Harry Potter, Hagrid says: "Rubeus Hagrid. Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts." I thought he said "grains," not "Grounds."

EDIT: Good call by Potter fans. Hey, I at least had the "gr-" right as a kid. Curse my T.V.'s captions lol.

17. In the next film, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, I grew up thinking Mr. Weasley was a weirdo.

Warner Bros.

So I seriously thought Mr. Weasley walked over to the kids and said: "Children, there's a man in here. Let's go outside." What man? Is he dangerous? Why do we need to leave?!

He really says, "it's mad in here," so nothing to worry about. *looks over shoulder*

18. Cool it, friendo?

Miramax Films

In No Country for Old Men, Anton Chigurh says, "Call it," a lot in this one scene, but there is a moment where I thought he was trying to calm him down. Nope, he's just saying, "Call it," again.

19. That's a lot of things you are asking me, man.

Lucasfilm

So in Star Wars: A New Hope, I thought Tarkin was demanding Leia to give him planet names by saying: "You will name a target, a preliminary target, then name the system!"

Of course, he is actually threatening her by saying he will pick another planet to destroy to test the Death Star if she does not reveal the rebel base. The real quote is: "Would you prefer I name another target? A military target? Then name the system!"

20. For some reason, I never knew what Bugs Bunny said during his rant to Michael Jordan in Space Jam.

Warner Bros. Pictures

The real line is: "We'll be locked up like wild animals, trotted out to perform...for a bunch of bug-eyed, fat-headed, humor-challenged aliens!"

I heard "aliens." That's it.

21. Jim Carrey goes for the Oscar in The Mask.

New Line Cinema

So, while pretening to die, I thought the first line Jim Carrey said was: "Pull me closer, it...it's gettin' dark." You know, because he's dying and having trouble speaking.

The real line is: "Hold me closer, Red; it's getting dark." *coughs into the camera*

Come on, I can't be the only one that hears the wrong thing, right? Comment below if there are any lines you misheard growing up!