1. You know how this story goes.
I Would've Been On Time to Your Party if I Hadn't Messed Up My Liquid Eyeliner 58 Times - an autobiography
2. Seriously, you KNOW it's going to take 58 attempts.
Liquid eyeliner: because you probably didn’t want to be there on time anyway.
3. We've all been through this before.
damn boy are you liquid eyeliner because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna fuck this up
4. "But maybe this time will be different."
you know the devil inside of you is real when you're in a rush & you hear "put on liquid eyeliner"
5. American Horror Story: Liquid Eye Liner
Valiantly attempted to put on some liquid eyeliner on a moving train so guess I can now rebrand myself as Marie The Friendly Panda.
6. We need to form some sort of support group.
I'm going to try to put liquid eyeliner on for the first time in 2 years, lord pls give me the confidence of a mediocre white man
7. Be brave. You've got to be brave.
You gotta act cool, calm & collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.
8. You'll start out optimistic...
Me this a.m.: this liquid eyeliner business isn't so bad! *draws line from left eye to left nostril*🙄
9. ...and before you know it, you're a hardened soldier.
liquid eyeliner commercial: foolproof application, so easy, no mess! me:
10. You may end up with some unexpected results.
@dervogelfamber @rsl318 me when I try to do liquid eyeliner
11. Honestly, maybe you could have done it on the train after all.
Tonight I will be wearing a nice panda eye brought to you by liquid eyeliner 😤
12. You might not get the results you were hoping for.
Got liquid eyeliner in my eye and started crying black tears and my 3yr old sister started yelling and called me a freak monster. 🙂
13. It might be less Adele and more Joel Grey.
me: I should give liquid eyeliner another shot. 1 hr later: I am insane, blind, every surface in my house is black, I believe I am joel grey
14. Even the most careful and well-intentioned plans can go awry.
I'm really starting to hate liquid eyeliner.
15. At this point, you might as well have fun with it.
Expectation: What I will look like after I do my makeup. Reality: LIQUID EYELINER MASTERPIECE
16. Even washing it off is a disaster.
I've been wearing a lot of liquid eyeliner lately & whenever I wash off my makeup I look like Martin Sheen in this… https://t.co/pRbO305ITY
17. You might be tempted to give up.
By the time I can apply liquid eyeliner so that it doesn't look like a blind 5 year old did it, I'll be too old to wear it.
18. But someday, you'll master. Believe in yourself!
If you can do liquid eyeliner, you can do anything
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