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Hey! While we’re doing our best to make sure the products we feature will arrive in time for Christmas, shipping times can vary depending on where you live, which product you purchase, and more. Be sure to double check the retailers’ websites for shipping information to ensure that your gift will arrive in time for the 25th!
1. A set of six wine bottle condoms that'll have them saying, "chardonheyyyy."
2. Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook, a book that, if you aren't on the naughty list yet, will surely land you there! At least you'll have some delicious chicken to keep you company.
3. An adult coloring book called The Big Adventures Of Tiny Dick for the hilarious dick pic your friends would actually want to receive.
4. A cordless wand vibrator with over 20 vibration modes for anyone blessed enough to be on the naughty list this year.
5. Or a waterproof Satisfyer Pro 2 with 11 sucking modes ranging from gentle to intense that'll give "and a happy new year" a whole new meaning.
6. A bunch of hilarious oven mitts that'll gas up even the most seasoned chef.
7. A set of festive ~shot-glass sized~ ornaments you fill with alcohol so you can deck the halls with boozy balls .
8. A coffee mug that'll stay dirty no matter how often you wash it.
9. A game described as "basically jizz roulette" for the perfect white elephant gift.
10. A selfie stick and tripod stand with a wireless remote to help you take better angled nudes. Use the development of technology to our advantage people! Do yourself or your friend a favor, and put an end to neck cramps.
11. A pair of Pierre The Penis Slippers to keep your feet as warm as your blushing cheeks.
12. A set of lipsticks, or lipdicks if you will, for a beauty lover with a great sense of humor.
13. Porn For Women, a raunchy book of men doing chores around the house and saying things like, "As soon as I finish the laundry, I'll do the grocery shopping. And I'll take the kids with me so you can relax" — wow someone please bring me a glass of water.
14. A pair of socks perfect for the Scrooge in your life.
15. A 60 page checkbook of sexy IOUs and UOMEs so they have a list they'll want to check twice!
16. A knit cozy for your favorite member of the family. It's officially #SweaterWeather, and you can never be too prepared.
17. A tea-bagging tea infuser, because who doesn't love a good double entendre.
18. A wine pourer who'll be as excited as they are to be drinking this holiday season.
19. An interesting twist on a classic book of sex positions, The Llama Sutra coloring book, which is sure to bring some laughter — and education — into their life.
20. A bed sheet set with a beautiful pattern of naked bodies, because you're wanting more inspo for the next time you take nudes.
21. A shower curtain to remind them of the most important step to take before getting wet.
22. A bar of soap with "butt" on one side and "face" on the other so you know which side to use in the shower. It's hysterical but also practical!
23. A handmade wired ring so whoever they've got their eyes on won't have to read between the lines.
24. An exciting holiday sweater that'll win them "most polarizing sweater" at this year's holiday party.
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