1.When she was like, "Hello, I got my first book deal when I was 22 and I'm flawless."
2.When she was like, "I can effortlessly compose an outfit and eloquently express the paradox of the human condition."
3.When she was like, "I love this dress almost as much as I love subverting genre expectations!"
4.When she was like, "Am I a Bond girl? No, no. That's just my husband, award-winning poet Nick Laird. We met at Cambridge."
5.When she was like, "A model? No, no. I'm just our last remaining hope for the future of fiction."
6.When she was like, "Why, of course I can rock a shawl, a sequined dress, and a medal from the New York Public Library. My debut novel sold over a million copies."
7.When she was like, "Oh, sure, I just beat Hilary Mantel and Ali Smith for a major literary award. But let's take a moment to appreciate my impeccable sense of color coordination."
8.When she was like, "Am I carrying my Orange Prize around? No, that's just my killer statement clutch."
9.When she was like, "I know, it's a bit awkward for me to be this preternaturally stylish and to have written multiple literary masterpieces, I know. But you'll have to deal."
10.When she was like, "Oh, that glimmer on my skin? No, no, that's not lotion; that's just the glow from my exceptionally-high IQ."
11.When she was like, "This outfit accentuates both my waist and my phenomenal poise in the face of resounding literary success."
12.When she was like, "Oh this old thing? This is just my 'I have a new piece in the New Yorker' dress. I don't get that much use out of it."
13.When she was like, "I know, pulling off yellow is so hard. Almost as hard as writing three back-to-back bestsellers in radically different narrative voices."
14.When she was like, "'The object of the passion is just an accessory to the passion itself.' Like these shoes, which perfectly complement the rest of this ensemble."
15.When she was like, "These are my friends Stella and Liv. I know, it's a bit mad how I, the dowdy writer, can totally outshine a fashion designer and model-slash-actress. That's just my cross to bear."
16.When she was like, "Oh, this look just came to be in a dream one night. Like the entire plot line of On Beauty."
17.When she and Nick were like, "Brad and Angelina who?"
18.When she was simultaneously pregnant with the next Great Transatlantic Novel and her firstborn and she was like, "Sorry, Jonathan Franzen who? Can he walk in these heels?"
19.When she was like, "It really can be exhausting, being a classic beauty AND the face of 21st century literature."