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18 Classical Composers, Ranked By Hotness

Players gonna play.

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18. Wilhelm Richard "Velvet Cap" Wagner

Getty Images Hulton Archive

Here we see Wagner reclining on a basket of flowers, all like, "You can ride my Valkyrie, sweetheart." Too bad Willy was NOT a chill guy.

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8. Robert "Baby Face Bobby" Schumann

Getty Images Hulton Archive

Don't you just want to tuck a little strand of that hair behind his ear, kiss him on the forehead, and leave butterfly kisses all over his chin? Or is that just me.

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1. Edvard "Snuffleupagus" Grieg

Getty Images Hulton Archive

The kind of face you want to wake up to every morning, listenin' to Peer Gynt on the record player while Eddie brews you a cup of strong Norwegian coffee and draws open the French windows of your bedroom so that little blue jays might perch atop the nightstand beside you... Am I right? Guys? Am I right?

This post originally showed a photo of the very foxy Soulima Stravinsky in place of his father, Igor. This egregious error has been rectified and the correct, heart-stoppingly handsome Stravinsky has been put in his place.