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    18 Classical Composers, Ranked By Hotness

    Players gonna play.

    18. Wilhelm Richard "Velvet Cap" Wagner

    17. Peter "Giggle Chins" Tchaikovsky

    16. Frederick "Lady Killer" Chopin

    15. Johann "O Rly?" Sebastian Bach

    14. Claude "Little Hands" Debussy

    13. Johannes "Skeletor" Brahms

    12. Franz "Wild Thang" Schubert

    11. Ludwig "Fireball" van Beethoven

    10. Alexander "The Tickler" Scriabin

    9. Wolfgang "Micky Blue Eyes" Mozart

    8. Robert "Baby Face Bobby" Schumann

    7. Erik "Big Papa" Satie

    6. Sergei "Soft Face" Rachmaninov

    5. Anton "Mad Flow" Rubinstein

    4. Igor "Gropes-a-Lot" Stravinsky

    3. George "Sup Ladies" Gershwin

    2. Franz "The Man" Liszt

    1. Edvard "Snuffleupagus" Grieg

    This post originally showed a photo of the very foxy Soulima Stravinsky in place of his father, Igor. This egregious error has been rectified and the correct, heart-stoppingly handsome Stravinsky has been put in his place.