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26 Commandments For Flirting With Women Without Being "That Guy"

Thou shalt not listen to pick-up artists. Ever.

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1. Thou shalt maintain regular, non-creepy eye contact.

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Thou shalt do thine best to not gaze upon boobs.

2. Thou shalt banish the words of false prophets -- i.e. Pick Up Artists -- from thine actions.

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3. Thou shalt consider context.

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Flirting with someone thou hast been introduced to at a party is very different from flirting with a stranger in a public place. Proceed accordingly!

4. Thou shalt not hit on women when thou art on the subway, trapped in a metal tube together underground.

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5. Thou shalt not assume that buying a woman a drink buys you her time.

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6. Thou shalt be kind and gracious if thou art rejected.

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Thou aren't attracted to everyone who approaches thee, art thou?

7. Thou shalt NOT honk or shout at women from thine car.

8. Thou shalt consider how thou might want to be treated.

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Ah, the golden rule.

9. Thou shalt not babytalk.

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10. Thou shalt consider online dating.

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Thou shalt remember these commandments in an online setting, too.

11. Thou shalt not approach women with a sense of entitlement.

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For though thou may be handsome, intelligent, gainfully-employed, and/or hilarious, none of these qualities ~entitle thou~ to someone else's time or interest. Only their respect.

12. Thou shalt genuinely pay attention.

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13. Thou shalt not follow a woman down the street. Seriously, bro?

14. Thou shalt not immediately ask a woman if she is in a relationship.

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15. Thou shalt accept that so much is out of thine control.

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Thou cannot control who thou art attracted to. Thou cannot control who is attracted to thee.

16. Thou shalt not "neg."

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17. Thou shalt not touch strangers.

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Or thou shalt be besieged with PLAGUE.

18. Thou shalt pay close attention to body language.

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Thou shalt see the difference between a woman inching closer, and a woman inching farther away.

19. Thou shalt not erupt into child-like tantrums if thou art rejected. Thou shalt respect a "No."

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20. Thou shalt feel free to offer rides home to those you know, but thou shalt not be defensive if thine offer is declined.

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21. Thou shalt recognize the value of friendship. Thou shalt not complain about the mythical "friend zone."

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22. Thou shalt allow for serendipity.

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Thou cannot life-hack a relationship.

23. Thou shalt not be afraid to show off a little wit.

24. Thou shalt understand that thine intentions may not be her intentions. Thou shalt respect that!

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25. Thou shalt show respect. Respect for her safety, respect for her personhood, respect for her inalienable right to turn you down.

26. Thou shalt enjoy thyself!

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Thou shalt go forth respectfully and prosper.

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