51 Reasons Living In Chicago Ruins You For Life

I’m not gonna lie… a lot of the reasons are food.

1. Because pizza anywhere else will seem like pizza for ants.

Creative Commons / Flickr: jonapark

And “Chicago-style” just ain’t the same.

2. Because Central Park is pretty, but Millennium Park is a work of art.

Creative Commons / Flickr: cjsmithphotography

Well-planned and beautiful, just like the rest of the city.

3. Because hot dogs anywhere else are just plain WRONG.

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Ketchup? Seriously? And where are the poppyseeds on that bun? Come on.

4. Because you believe great public transportation is a human right.

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And you’re sure as hell not going to find that in places like L.A.

5. Because you can’t imagine not having one of the world’s greatest art collections 20 minutes from home.

Creative Commons / Flickr: delayedneutron
Paramount Pictures

There’s a reason Ferris took his day off here.

6. Because you’ve learned resilience from the Cubs…

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That damned goat.

7. …or the taste of glory from the Sox.

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And cheering on teams anywhere else just seems a bit dull.

8. Because no matter what, we all unite here.

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DAAAAA BEARS

9. Because our streets are wide and our drivers are sane.

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For the most part.

10. Because a month never goes by when you don’t see fireworks.

Check out Navy Pier’s fireworks calendar here.

11. Because all through the summer, you can cruise on the lake.

Creative Commons / Flickr: mahumm

Break out that American flag bikini top.

12. Because autumn is a brief, but real season.

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And it smells fantastic.

13. And when winter comes, you expect beautiful flurries of snow in exchange for your suffering.

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It builds character, kid.

14. Because the rough winters make springtime all the more glorious.

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That first sweet day of 50-degree weather in April…

15. Because this is where you exercise.

Who needs SoulCycle?

16. Because you’re used to being able to afford your rent.

Creative Commons / Flickr: ruthieki

Cost of living index, NYC: 254
Cost of living index, London: 283
Cost of living index, Chicago: 187

*sigh*

17. Because our universities are top notch.

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UChicago, Northwestern, DePaul, Loyola, UIC… the list goes on.

18. Because the bars stay open late.

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Till 4 a.m., baby.

19. Because whenever there’s danger, Batman might be around the corner.

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The best Gotham, the real Gotham.

20. Because no other city has Italian beef like ours.

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Brb, salivating.

21. Because we created the urban blues.

Creative Commons / Flickr: shutterrunner

Sing ‘em.

22. Because the air doesn’t smell like sweat and garbage.

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New York, I love you, but you smell like a toilet.

23. Because the streets are kept clean.

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Hey, other major cities! There’s this thing we have in Chicago called “alleys.” It means you don’t have to put your trash on the sidewalk! I know. Novel.

24. Because popcorn means this:

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Cheddar and caramel, all over my fingers.

25. …and steak means a porterhouse.

No wimpy filets.

26. Because amber waves of grain are never more than a half hour’s drive away.

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All right, 45 if there’s traffic.

27. …and whenever you fly out of O’Hare, you get a farewell light show.

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To help you cope with the fact you’re leaving the Greatest City on Earth.

28. Because living in the Architectural Capital of the United States gives you unrealistic standards of beauty for all other cities.

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29. Because there’s no better spot to meet your friends than at the cafeteria of Water Tower Place.

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Foodlife for life.

30. Because you don’t pay city income tax.

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Make it rain, [kickass Chicago comedian] Cameron Esposito.

31. Because there’s art on every corner.

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Marilyn, Picasso, no big.

32. Because you’ve only ever paid off-Broadway prices to see Broadway shows.

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Let’s go see Book of Mormon next weekend.

33. Because our diners are done right.

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34. Because you take LSD every chance you get.

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And it’s exhilarating.

35. Because you won’t find better Greek food outside of Greece.

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Opa!

36. Because this glorious fountain is just casually dropped in the middle of your city.

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WE ARE SPOILED WITH BEAUTY, CHICAGO.

37. Because we have ceilings made by Tiffany.

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Check this one out at the Cultural Center.

38. Because you’re never far from the beach.

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AND there are no sharks.

39. … and you won’t find Lake Michigan blue anywhere else.

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Unreal.

40. Because Chicago is a book lover’s paradise.

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Printer’s Row Festival, 30 years strong.

41. Because you get your beer local.

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Goose Island, Half Acre, Haymarket…

42. Because Sue the dinosaur is your pal.

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Remember when we said Chicago was a great place to raise kids? Exhibit A. T-Rex.

43. Because what other city has water towers that look this majestic?

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Yeah. It’s a castle. For our water.

44. Because Milennium Park in the summer is nothing short of paradise.

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Sprawl out and smell the freshly cut grass.

45. …and an ice-skating oasis in the winter.

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“It must be so hard to live in Chicago, it gets so cold.”
“Actually, it’s kind of awesome.”

46. Because the London Eye is cute, but the Navy Pier Ferris Wheel is epic.

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Open air thrills.

47. Because no sandwich is as good as a Potbelly’s.

Creative Commons / Flickr: churl

It’s only a real sandwich if you can’t fit it in your mouth. Plus, there’s a secret menu.

48. Because every year, the music comes to you.

Roger Kisby / Stringer / Getty Images

Lolla, Pitchfork, the Taste…

correction

The original image included here was from Lollapalooza Brazil.

50. Because we can even beat New England at its own game.

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Seriously, is this a Hopper painting or our city?

51. Because you can always go and see the stars.

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Always a safe bet for a first date.

52. Because no matter how cold it gets, Chicago still shines.

No city could ever compare to Chicago. Its beauty and charm and deliciousness have ruined you for life. You might as well stay forever.

Creative Commons / Flickr: jasonc66

♫♫ And each time I roam, Chicago is calling me home… ♫♫

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