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This Husband Slept Through A Family Emergency, So His Wife Removed The Bedroom Door Lock — And People Have Some Things To Say

"He's insisting I put it back, but I refused."

There's a subreddit called Am I The Asshole? and it's allllllways full of tea.

Recently, a wife wondered if she was an asshole for removing a lock from her bedroom door after her husband slept through a family emergency, and I am dyinggggg to know what you think of the situation.

Here's what happened, as told by the wife, u/throwaydoorlock977:

"My husband stays up late at night and has to wake up early to go to work. So, when he gets home at 5:00 p.m., he has to get his two hour nap in so he can both make up for the lack of sleep he has, and also be ready to stay up late to play with his console."

"He values his sleep and has one rule in the house that he enforces strictly, which is to not be interrupted while sleeping. He literally put a sign on the bedroom door saying, ‘DO NOT WAKE ME UP.’ Under any circumstances, just no, unless someone’s hurt or dead — in this case, he said he still wouldn’t be much help anyway."

"The kids and I would sometimes wake him up, but for serious reasons. He got mad and started locking the door. I get no access to the room for two hours, but that's not the main problem."

"This past Tuesday, my 3-year-old son had hot oil spill on his hand while his 14-year-old sister was cooking. I heard my son scream and saw that the oil was covering his hand and half of his arm. I brought over the first aid kit, but he was in so much pain and his skin looked really bad. I rushed to wake my husband up. I kept knocking on the door, but got no response. I tried to open it, but it was locked."

"I spent a while between knocking on the door (he had his phone turned off) and getting dressed after my daughter asked the neighbor to drive us to the hospital. I couldn't waste more time cause my son was crying. The neighbor took us to the hospital and I couldn't help but feel livid the whole time. We got home and my husband was pacing around asking where we were and why I didn't answer his texts. I blew up on him after I showed him our son’s injury. I told him that I pounded on the door to wake him up, but he said he had his earbuds on and didn’t hear a thing."

"I called him reckless and neglectful for ignoring a family emergency. He said I could say the same thing about myself for leaving our son unsupervised and causing him to get a burn. I stopped arguing and instead went to remove the bedroom door lock. He started yelling at me saying I had no right. I refused to respond and I just walked off to calm down. He didn’t stop complaining, calling me ‘bossy’ and saying that — by removing the lock — I’ve destroyed his peace and quiet and caused him sleep deprivation. He's insisting I put it back but I refused."

"I could be wrong for what I've done but I was frustrated and mad. AITA?"

I don't know about you, but I am in DISBELIEF.

Most users also seemed to be appalled by the situation, determining that the wife was not the asshole here and that the husband was the only one to blame.

"Your husband is being selfish and irresponsible. He is an adult with children and doesn't have a right to stay up all night playing games and sleep all day while you raise the kids alone," u/stephanielmayes said.

Another user shared a similar sentiment.

"Hot oil = ACCIDENT

Locking the door = very purposely being unavailable to help and checking out of his responsibilities as husband and father.

If he was, like, awake and helping his wife, maybe their son never would have gotten hurt at all," u/msharek said.

Another user, who goes by u/mdthomas, pointed out that the husband was probably even more at fault than the wife originally thought:

"I absolutely do not believe that 'he didn't hear you.' There's no way he couldn't have. You would have been knocking so hard that it would have sounded like you were trying to break down the door!"

Others added that it was bizarre for the husband to even want to lock himself in the bedroom in the first place.

"If he absolutely must lock the door, make it one you can open in an emergency. A key or a combination. Though, I think having a door he can lock his wife out of is a weird thing to insist upon — sleeping or not," u/MadamMarshmallows said.

Now, it's your turn to weigh in:

  1. Who's the asshole in the situation?

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Who's the asshole in the situation?
  1.  
    vote votes
    The wife is the asshole. It was invasive of her to remove the lock from the door.
  2.  
    vote votes
    The husband is the asshole. He should not have even been sleeping with the door locked in the first place.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Both the wife and the husband are assholes. They behaved unreasonably to each other.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments!