Skip To Content

    This Son Lied About His Wedding Time To Ensure His Mom Would Show Up, And The Internet Has Big Thoughts

    "She is a wonderful mother and I love her dearly, she just does not understand the concept of punctuality."

    Every time I read through the Am I The Asshole? subreddit, I am very entertained.

    Recently, I came across a post where a man wondered if he was an asshole for lying to his mother about his wedding time. It was all out of love, but the mom definitely didn't take it very well. Here's the story as told by the son, u/PinDry258:

    "My (M33) parents are late for everything. Like everything. Both of my sister's and myself have been disappointed so many times."

    close showing 8am

    "Graduation ceremonies, birthday parties, even my father's retirement dinner. It is completely my mother's fault. She is a wonderful mother and I love her dearly, she just does not understand the concept of punctuality."

    "I have seen her talking to her sister on the phone and reminded her she needed to be at my baby sister's dance recital. She waved me off and arrived after my sister had danced. We are all used to it. My dad is just done trying to get her to be on time for anything."

    "My now wife (F28) told me in no uncertain terms that if my mother was late for our wedding she would do terrible things to me. She was only half joking. But she was a witness to my mom and dad arriving halfway through my cousin's quinceañera."

    birthday cake with the number 15 in candles

    "So here is what I did. It is completely on me. My wife was not involved. If there is a dick move it was completely mine."

    "When we were getting samples for the wedding I talked to the printer and had one special invitation printed with the time on it being one hour earlier than the actual start time of the ceremony."

    stack of invitations

    "My mother was beside herself apparently when they left the house and thought they were going to miss the wedding since she was a part of it with her and my MIL lighting the candles we would use to light the unity candle and stuff."

    match lighting a candle

    "When she arrived and noticed other people were also just arriving and parking she was so relieved that we were starting late that she just went with it."

    the back of a bride being walked by her father

    "The ceremony went off beautifully. And so did the wedding pictures and the reception."

    bride and groom's hand holding a knife to cut the cake

    "The problem came last Sunday. My parents came over for a big family dinner and we didn't bother starting the grill until they showed up. She asked why everyone wasn't eating and we just said we knew we would be waiting for them since they are always late."

    a set table

    "She said that she was not always late and had been on time for my wedding. She hadn't been. They arrived 45 minutes AFTER the time on their invitation."

    "My idiot cousin John, real name because it's common and he deserves people to know he is a dolt, snorted at her statement. A few other people giggled or smiled at this and she picked up and asked what was so funny."

    "I came clean and told her about the 'special' invitation."

    "She is pissed at me for not trusting her and making her look foolish in front of everyone. If my cousin had just controlled himself she never would have known. AITA?"

    OP later added, "Part of the reason she is mad is because she had her invitation framed. To be honest, I was already planning a heist with my sisters to replace it with the real one in case she ever noticed the discrepancy between hers and the one we have framed in our home."

    an empty frame

    Hmm, this one is definitely a weird situation. I know I have my own thoughts.

    And it seems like Redditors did, too.

    Most commenters were in agreement that OP was not the asshole, including someone who goes by u/Forward_Squirrel8879.

    "How can she complain? If you had sent her an invite with the real time then she would have been 45 minutes late. She should appreciate the fact that you wanted her to be there enough that you took the time to make her a special invite to ensure she arrived on time."

    Another person who goes by u/vcatacarte concurred.

    "She is embarrassed because she has a problem showing up on time and you proved it."

    And someone else, who goes by u/The__Riker__Maneuver, encouraged OP not to budge an inch in his stance.

    "Flat out tell her that had you not lied to her, she would have missed your wedding and that not only will you never apologize for doing what you did, YOU want an apology from her for being 45 minutes late in the first place."

    There was also some discussion in the comments about OP's mom possibly having ADHD, which would explain her chronic tardiness. However, one person with the username u/RickyNixon gave their perspective.

    "Its a choice. Like, she could be on time if it was important to her. Chronically late people simply do not respect others enough to be punctual.

    I have severe ADHD. When I’m supposed to arrive at a certain time, I set alarms. 'Start getting ready' alarms. 'In case you’re distracted, get back to being ready' alarms. '15mins until you have to start/leave/whatever' alarms. Sometimes 2 hours of alarms to ensure I stay on track and arrive early.

    I respect others. I respect their time. So I don't let them wait on me. I have a disability that is associated with lateness and I work hard and inconvenience myself to ensure my loved ones know I care enough to be where they need me on time."

    What do you think? Let me know in the comments.