Celebrity

Train Reveals Who Inspired Virginia In “Meet Virginia”

She sounds god awful, TBH.

1. Confession time: I spend a lot more of my time thinking about Train than I’d like to admit. Like, did you know there are this many people in Train????

Spotify

Do you think they do The Locomotion ever????

2. Train, if you’re somehow unfamiliar, is a band that became famous in 2001 with the song “Drops of Jupiter,” which is about talking like summer and walking like rain and painting with all the colors of the wind maybe?

Disney / Via gph.is

3. The lead singer is named Patrick Monahan, but he will be referred to as TRAIN for the remainder of this post to make things easier.

PBS / Via gph.is

4. TRAIN is very active on Twitter, and spends time answering *burning* questions from inquiring minds like myself. Recently, someone asked TRAIN a question I’ve had for many moons: Is Virginia of “Meet Virginia” fame based on a real person or nah? This is what TRAIN said.

5. “She’s real parts of real woman that make up a woman that I’ve always wanted to meet.”

FOX / Via gph.is

6. So, to clarify, no she’s not a real woman. She just has many qualities that REAL women have…

7. Well, if that is the case, I am here to help you find your IRL Virginia, TRAIN! Thank me later. Ladies, please take a moment to check all answers that apply to you so that I can send the best match to TRAIN:

  1. Republic Records

    Check all Train’s major turn-ons that apply to you.

    1. You don’t own a dress
    2. Your hair is always a mess
    3. Catch you stealin’ you won’t confess
    4. You’re beautiful
    5. You smoke a pack a day
    6. (Wait that’s Train, but anyway)
    7. You don’t care a thing about that hair
    8. You think Train is beautiful
    9. You never compromise
    10. You love babies
    11. And surprises
    12. (And…surprise babies???)
    13. You wear high heels when you exercise
    14. You want to be the queen
    15. JK YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN
    16. Your daddy wrestles alligators
    17. Your mama works on carborators
    18. Your brother is a fine mediator for the president
    19. You hate to be alone
    20. You like to sit at home and rip on the president
    21. You want to live your life
    22. JK YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA LIVE THIS LIFE
    23. You only drink coffee at midnight
    24. Your timing is quite…unusual???
    25. Your confidence is tragic
    26. Your intuition tho… it’s MAGIC!
    27. The shape of your body is unusual (like your timing)
    28. You want to be the queen again
    29. JK YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN
    30. YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN
    31. YOU DON’T REALLY WANNA BE THE QUEEN

9. Basically you need to be a pants-wearing, messy, law-breaking, pretty, smoking, stubborn, baby-loving, impractical-gym-dressing, late-night-coffee-drinking, unusual person whose family enjoys alligators, carborators and the president and really can’t fucking decide whether she wants to be the QUEEN or not. Good luck with that!

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