The moment I woke up, before I put on my makeup, I was blessed with Entertainment Weekly's My Best Friend's Wedding reunion cover.
It's honestly amazing, and my made my heart grow three sizes.
But it also reminded me of the world's most bananas marriage pact of all time.
Today is as good a day as any to remind you that their marriage pact was by 28-YEARS-OLD!!!
I mean, this opening paragraph to the Wikipedia summary alone HAS SO MUCH TO UNPACK:
"Julianne Potter, a 27-year-old New York Restaurant critic."
Me at 27: Finally splurging for the SECOND cheapest bottle of wine instead of the cheapest.
"In college, the two made an agreement that if neither of them were married by the time they turned 28, they would marry each other."
By 28???? Okay, first of all, I know that marriage pacts are mostly a TV and movie trope, but for the love of god aim a LITTLE higher? Like, 35? 40?
And now, the best part. The cherry on top of this nightmare. "Michael tells her that in four days, he will marry Kimmy Wallace (Cameron Diaz), a 20-year-old University of Chicago student from a wealthy family."
Pardon me? Excuse me??? This fact bothers me every time I re-remember it, which is basically once a year:
Cameron Diaz's character was not old enough to legally drink at her wedding.
To summarize, this is how I feel about exactly 100% of this:
