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Dorothy From "The Wizard Of Oz" Is Actually Fucking Horrible

She literally dreams of being a murderer.

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The musical Wicked has done a really great job of providing some justice for the Wicked Witch of the West (the true hero of Oz), but today I need to talk about the other side of that story — which is the fact that Dorothy is a truly horrible person with a lot of deep-seated issues that she clearly needs to resolve. Join me on this journey!

At the very beginning, Dorothy runs away right before a massive Tornado, after complaining about her life (which seems pretty fucking good compared to the farmhands who are literally working their asses off on her aunt and uncle's farm) and not giving a single flying fuck when her dog bites someone.

So, we all know the BIG PLOT TWIST is that the whole thing was a dream, which means Dorothy is honestly the most twisted motherfucker I've ever heard of. Because her subconscious came up with all of this.

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The first thing dream-Dorothy does? Murder a person by dropping a house on her.

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No one ever explained what the Wicked Witch of the East did that was so bad, so I think it was all Dorothy's justifying her MURDER.

After that, dream Dorothy is CELEBRATED with a literal SONG for being a MURDERER.

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Now, let's talk about the part where she starts making friends. Scarecrow, Tinman, and the Cowardly Lion are all based on those farmhands from back home, right??? So her subconscious is calling those 3 men (who fucking work on her farm all day while she's singing about her sad boring life) STUPID...

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Then, Dorothy finds out that to achieve her goals, she needs to murder a woman who is grieving her sister's death and just trying to rightfully take back a family heirloom from a freaking grave robber. And she DOES IT, no questions asked!

Finally, she brings back a trophy from her murder, only to find out she didn't even have to murder in the first place!!!! All she had to do was click her friggin' shoes! Now, before you blame Glinda or the Wizard, it's really her own damn fault because she agreed to murder so quickly without even checking if there was another way out. Because SHE LOVES DOING MURDER.

  1. Is Dorothy actually terrible?

    Is Dorothy actually terrible?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yes, she's clearly horrible!!!!!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    No, but she's a teen so basically same thing. (Just kidding teens!!! Love you! I was one once!)
    Correct
    Incorrect
    It was a dream! You can't control your dreams!
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Is Dorothy actually terrible?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Yes, she's clearly horrible!!!!!
  2.  
    vote votes
    No, but she's a teen so basically same thing. (Just kidding teens!!! Love you! I was one once!)
  3.  
    vote votes
    It was a dream! You can't control your dreams!
 
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